We All Need Grace

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always in need of grace, amazing grace, being an empty nester, empty nester, extending grace, extending love, God's grace, grace, grace for all, is there grace enough for me, parenting college kids, parenting grown ups, parenting issues, stunning grace, why should I extend grace, why should I extend love

Something that has come as a bit of a surprise to me (read shock) is that my youngest son is not as great at handling money as I expected. Honestly, for some reason I thought he was better prepared for the real world of money than our oldest was. I have no idea why I thought this. He was continually running out of allowance money, continually spending any money that was given as a gift as fast as it hit his pocket, and continually being loaned the debit card (my debit card) for extra purchases. I guess I was given the impression that he was better prepared than most due to the fact that he passed all of his budgeting courses with perfect A’s.

May I just say nothing is like the temptation of real money. It doesn’t really matter if you are cutting the entertainment budget drastically on paper to make things work for a budgeting class, because in real life when all of your friends are going to the movies..well…you go to the movies and pray your parents don’t find out. When you come home with fifty-one cents in your bank account, they find out. Trust me.

Yes, we had a “come to Jesus” talk with our son, but overall, in the end, grace was extended. Why? I need grace every day. It may not be in the area of  money…anymore…but I am always needing grace in some area. That’s what my youngest reminded me of… God’s grace.

A book that changed my parenting life (actually my life as a whole) was the book “Grace Based Parenting” by Dr. Kimmel. In this book, he describes how we should be the type of parent that God is with us. Grace-based, not law-based. The lessons from that book have really stuck with me.

As an empty-nester, I thought my parenting days were almost over. They are, but I’m being reminded daily that parenting “almost” grown-ups is the hardest. These are the make-or-break days of my relationship with my son. How I respond to “mess ups” now will affect how he communicates with me for years. If I’m a safe place to land, a grace-filled environment, he will be able to more readily receive the grace of God. Isn’t that the goal of every parent? To lead our kids closer to their Savior? To make God more relatable to real life?

So, as for now, I choose to remember how I need God’s grace so I can easily extend grace. I choose to remember how much I need God’s love, so I can easily extend love, and I choose to remember that just because a kid leaves home, he never outgrows his need for a soft place to land. I thank God that He provides the feathers.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

*image by 123rf.com

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When You Kill Your Neighbor’s Cat

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disciples reaction to Jesus death, disciples reaction to the cross, falling into sin, forgiveness, forgiveness for all, God is never surprised, God's faithfulness, God's mercies in everyday life, God's mercy, God's stunning grace, grace, hard times, iniquity, mercies new every morning, messing up, new beginnings, no shocking the Lord, shock, stunned disbelief, transgressions, what to do when you fall off the wagon, what to do when you mess up

 

Last year, I was on the phone with my mom looking out the front door (I got better reception there because I lived in the boonies). My dog was outside and I noticed that something had caught his attention. He was on high alert because on the other side of the road, on the church steps, a cat was limping. It had obviously been hurt and needed help, but I wondered if my little terrier mix named “Brutus” would decide he needed to give “aid” to the cat. While trying to politely get off the phone with my mom, I was frantically gesturing to Gabe (my youngest son) about taking care of the cat. I was worried Brutus would decide the pain from the underground fence would be worth the price to get to it. Can you even imagine the melee that would ensue?! When I realized I had probably sent my son to the injury of his life, I hurriedly got off the phone just in time to warn Gabe about touching the cat too quickly. Great mom that I am, I finally remembered that injured animals were sometimes the most vicious because of their pain level.

Gabe must be a “cat whisperer” because that cat not only let him touch it, but he ended up cradling it like a baby as he started towards the neighbor’s house to help it back home. I grabbed my shoes and hurriedly ran down the hill to cross the road that leads to the neighbor’s house to help Gabe explain what was going on. The cat, Gabe and I all arrived at the stop sign at bottom of the hill simultaneously and at that moment, the cat must have smelled home. Its claws came out, jumped out of Gabe’s arms and ran across the road…just as a massive truck was coming around the corner. Yep, that cat was executed right before our eyes.

In stunned disbelief we walked back to our house. All I could think was, “How could our good intentions have gone so drastically wrong?” I just kept saying, “I’m sorry, Gabe. I’m so sorry”. Not even really knowing why I was apologizing. Finally, Gabe asked, “Why do you keep saying your sorry?” I told him I just hated that he had to go through it. I hated that I had asked him to help. I hated that I had gotten him involved at all and then, I finally told him the truth… I had no idea why I kept apologizing. It was all I could do, I guess. I was simply stunned (as was he). I could barely look at him for the rest of the day because I was afraid I would just start apologizing again and bring the whole horrible ordeal up again.

After the initial shock and once the neighbors came home, we explained what had happened and they were very gracious, but still to this day I am a little shocked over it. How in the world did a well-intentioned action evolve into such a horrible disaster?

As crazy as it may seem, I think that cat helped me realize how the disciples must have felt once Jesus was taken to be crucified. They must have sat in stunned disbelief having no idea how things had gone so wrong. They had just had an amazing time together, had heard some incredible teaching and then…

Was Andrew not able to look at Peter? Was Philip apologizing over and over to Nathanael? After all, the book of John tells us that they were the ones responsible for bringing them to Jesus. Were they all barely looking at each other as I could barely look at Gabe? Were they sitting in stunned disbelief not really understanding how in the world their well-intentioned actions led to such a disaster? And James? The older brother of John? He couldn’t even find his brother to apologize.

Stunned disbelief. It gets the best of all of us.  

Before the cat incident, I’ve had other times of stunned disbelief. After an event, I would sit thinking about how in the world something went wrong and was flabbergasted by how quickly it got there. I’ve not killed anymore cats that I know of, but I have let a well-intentioned conversation get out of hand. I’ve also allowed myself to start watching something, or reading something that a few days later had me sitting in stunned disbelief that it had gone that far and I allowed myself to finish watching, or reading it. I’ve even been well-intentioned in witnessing to my neighbor and then, somehow chickened out. I sat in stunned disbelief later knowing that my apathy and fear had controlled me instead of the Holy Spirit inside of me. Stunned disbelief.

Has it happened to you? Ever started talking to that guy, or girl at work with the best of intentions, knowing they just needed a sounding board, but now you sit in stunned disbelief that the relationship went where it did?

Ever decided to eat that one serving of cake only to discover the next day that every bit of it was gone?

Ever think your family will understand the long hours you put in at work only to discover all their bags packed and you are now living what’s left of your life alone?

Stunned disbelief.

The really amazing thing is right in the middle of the disciples’ stunned disbelief, Jesus appeared. John 20:19-20 says, “Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you. And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.”

 Right in the middle of their trauma, their stunned disbelief, their heartache, Jesus came and He wants to do the same for you and me.

Are you in the middle of an affair you can’t believe happened in the first place? First John 1:9 tells us that Jesus is the Great Forgiver and He is with you right now in the middle of your place of stunned disbelief.

Are you in stunned disbelief over the diagnosis that you just received from your doctor? Psalm 103 tells us that Jesus can heal all our diseases.

Are you in stunned disbelief that a loved one has just passed away? Psalm 23 tells us that our Great Shepherd is with us even in the valley of the shadow of death.

Are you sitting in stunned disbelief over last night’s events? Can you not believe that you took that drink, smoked that joint, watched that porn, did that deed that you swore would never happen again? Lamentations 3:22-23 tells us that God’s mercies are new every morning.

He stays faithful even when we are sitting in stunned disbelief. He’s not shocked like you are. He knew it would happen and He has already covered it with His blood on the Cross. He knew it would happen and He still loves you. In fact, according to Zephaniah 3:17 He is still singing over you right this moment. Come out of your stunned disbelief and enter into His stunning grace. You never have a need to be ashamed again. His banner over you is love (Song of Solomon 2:4).

These are His words to you today and every day: “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come… (Song of Sol. 2:10-12). Live in that today!

My Story

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Coming Broken to the Savior

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apathy, brokenness, emptiness, forgiveness, good start for the week, good start to your day, grace, guilty, healing your wounds, keeping our wounds, mercy, restoration, walking wounded, welcomed by Jesus, wholeness, wounded, wounded welcome, wounds

There’s a version of Just as I Am by Travis Cottrell that says,

“I come broken to be mended
I come wounded to be healed
I come desperate to be rescued
I come empty to be filled
I come guilty to be pardoned
By the blood of Christ the Lamb
And I’m welcomed with open arms
Praise God, just as I am”
 

I love this song, but lately I am reminded that many times when I come broken, it’s not to be mended. When I come wounded, it’s not to be healed. I want to come with my brokenness and pain, but I want to hang onto it; I want others to notice my wounds. Maybe I don’t think I’ll get enough attention if I don’t look like the walking wounded.  

Other times, I think I come empty and leave empty, not because Jesus can’t fill me, but because I simply don’t ask.

I know at other times I come guilty, but don’t ask to be pardoned. I must want to wallow in my sin a little longer. I tend to like my pride and unforgiveness and I’ve certainly given apathy too much space.

The song mentioned above reminds me that I am welcomed just as I am…broken, wounded, desperate, empty and guilty, but Christ has wholeness for me. Christ has open arms ready to fill, pardon and mend. Jesus says in John 10:10, “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.” He doesn’t have failure for me. He has abundance. That’s my life in His arms…freedom, life and abundance.

So, as we walk through this week together, let’s remember that brokenness, emptiness and guilt are all in us, but we can place those things in Christ’s arms where restoration, forgiveness and wholeness can take place.

Let’s come broken to be mended. Let’s come wounded to be healed and leave the mess in Jesus’ arms where it belongs.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

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Less Than we Deserve

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Christian encouragement, Christianity, consequences, devotional, devotions, encouragement, family devotions, focus, God, grace, less punishment than deserved, light, mercy, punishment, unfailing love

Ezra 9:13, “…seeing that thou our God hast punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and hast given us such deliverance as this.”

So many times I focus on what I don’t have instead of what I do. I focus on what is going wrong instead of what blessings I’m receiving. But, when I remember past sins, my hardness of heart, my lack of forgiveness, I realize that I am always punished less than I deserve. I realize that God delivers me over and over again and I then want to pass on that same grace to my family and those I see throughout my day.

When I am facing a situation where someone is less patient than I feel I deserve, I remember that God forgave me for my impatience the day before.

When I am not being forgiven readily, I remember all the times I have held unforgiveness close to me.

When I am facing a consequence for a sin, I remember all the consequences that have been reversed in times past.

Let’s take the time today to remember that no matter what punishment God has allowed in our paths, it is less than we deserve. He is a gracious, loving and kind God who gives us more than we can imagine and restores us in ways we never dreamed possible.

He is not a God who delights in punishment. He is not a God who has a dark side (I John 1:5). He is a God of unfailing, unchanging love.

Psalm 143:8 says, “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.” Let’s lift up our souls today and ask God to cause us to hear His lovingkindness, see His faithfulness and know without a doubt that He is a God who always punishes less than we deserve.

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries

*Image by domestically speaking

Lessons From the Countryside

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Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, countryside lessons, devotional, devotional blog, devotions, encouragement, family devotions, grace, mercy, our covering, resting in His righteousness, Robe of righteousness, sheep, sin, standing in grace, walking with confidence

I know this week is supposed to be part 2 of “Preparing the Soil”, but I just can’t help but tell you what I came across the other day on my way through the countryside. I saw a flock of sheep. Big news, I know, but these were not just any sheep, they were the kind where their faces were black, but their wool was as white as snow. I couldn’t help but be reminded of God’s grace. His grace covers us like nothing else can. We don’t have to work for it. We just have to receive it and it swallows up our sin so that none of that darkness can ever be seen again. Romans 3:24 tells us that our Lord Jesus redeems us by a gift of His grace. Just as those sheep did nothing to have that white wool, we do nothing to receive God’s grace but simply accept it.

Isaiah 61:10 says, “I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness…” That white wool covering those dark little bodies was such a beautiful picture of my sin being fully covered with Christ’s robe of righteousness. My righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), but His righteousness covers all. As I looked as those sheep, I couldn’t help but be thankful that all God sees when He looks at me is His Son’s righteousness. He no longer sees my sin, but just a beautiful white robe, clean and pure before Him.

Romans 5:20 says, “And the Law came in that the transgression might increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” Just as a sheep cannot grow bigger than their wool, we cannot sin too much for God’s grace. His grace will always exceed our sin. We can always be covered. His grace is measureless!  Even if all we see is the blackness of our sin, even if when we look in the mirror and only see the bad, when Christ looks at us, He sees His robe of righteousness. Romans 5:2 tells us that we stand in His grace. So no matter what we see, if we are abiding in His presence, His righteousness is our covering. When we think others are only seeing the bad, they are actually seeing Christ.

This reminds me of a T.V. show I saw yesterday. It was a beauty pageant coach training a beautiful young girl how to walk in the upcoming pageant. This girl was gorgeous, but all she saw was some imaginary bulge. She couldn’t walk with confidence until she saw what her coach saw. We can’t walk confidently in Christ without seeing what Jesus sees. Jesus is our Coach and He sees His righteousness covering us just like that white wool covering those sheep. He sees His grace. He sees His mercy and He sees His love for us. He wants us to stand in that confidence and He wants us to walk with assurance knowing that we are a child of the King.

So, let’s get a picture of some sheep with black faces and beautiful white wool, (or get some for our back yards), and remember that Christ sees us covered with His grace and His grace is always more than our sin. Our God is marvelous! Let’s give Him praise today!

My Story

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Marriage

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all things for good, anniversaries, anniversary, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, encouragement, exhaustion, family, forgiveness, grace, marriage, past mistakes, prayer, sticking with it, stuffing, temptations, tenacity, worth it

On Saturday, my husband and I will be celebrating our 23^rd year of marriage. Crazy! I can’t help but think of Matthew 19:26, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I love that our anniversary hits on Saturday this year because I can remember the weekend as it really was. Memories of the rehearsal on Friday and actual wedding day on Saturday seem easier to recall when the memories coincide with the actual day. I was eighteen and he had just turned twenty-one. We were so young and yes, very dumb. I’m sure many thought that I was making a mistake, but God knew who my man was behind the mullet and farm boy mentality. God also knew that I needed to see grace in action and He knew that my man was the only one who could be that for me. That’s my man through and through…grace.

Have we gone through rough patches? Oh, yes, horrible patches filled with briars and weeds (many of which we planted ourselves). The only explanation there is for this anniversary is God Himself. He is a true Miracle Worker. You think I’m exaggerating? I’m not and you are just going to have to take my word for it. We have both made incredible mistakes and have come very close to others. We get the statement “but for the grace of God go I” to the fiber of our being. I have no idea how our marriage has kept going except to say that God simply wouldn’t let us stop. I love Him for that.

I always tell people to watch out for year five. It’s a doozy. For me personally, the repercussions from our year five still rears its ugly head at times. I buried specifics from year five all the way to year ten. I had heard a therapist on television say that what your spouse doesn’t know, don’t worry about. He said to stop doing it and move on with your marriage, but why hurt them unnecessarily. So, I took it as a word from God and sought His forgiveness, asked a general forgiveness from my guy and buried it all. My man and I knew that we both had done some awful things, but it was a taboo subject. Neither one of us wanted to deal with it.

A few months before out tenth anniversary I went to a Ladies Bible Study at our church. We studied “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things” by Beth Moore. In all honesty, I took the class to see if I could discern who was and wasn’t saved among my family. Yes, I realize how pious that sounds, but it’s the truth. I didn’t take the class as intended, God drug me through that class. I realized very quickly that burying the past was not what God intended. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that what I was hearing was wrong, but it wasn’t.  When I knew God truly was telling me to confess to my guy and ask his forgiveness I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that his heart would be prepared to hear it and forgive. We had two small children at the time and very little money, but wouldn’t you know that God arranged for us to have a private cabin on the water for our anniversary night? I knew this was the moment for confession and God’s grace poured out on us. I had prepared him that I needed to come clean so that he wasn’t blind-sided. I was a nervous wreck, but God’s Spirit was with us. It took several days for things to be fully confessed and worked through and several months of recovery with God healing us bone deep, but I remember that I kept praying that God would not let me close my own wound. I wanted Him to clean out the wounds and keep them open until all the infection was out. I was physically ill from the cleaning at times, but that prayer stayed in the forefront of my mind and He was so faithful. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” and our God is the most faithful Friend of all.

I’ve shared with you a small part of my testimony in our marriage to simply demonstrate that things with us have not been easy. I wanted to share so that when I say what I am about to say you won’t just brush it off as a lucky break with two people who always get along and have no problems, or temptations. What do I want to say? Sticking with your marriage is worth it. My man loves me and I love him more deeply than I ever thought possible. He demonstrates grace often (because I need it often) and that kind of depth only comes with time. It only comes with hard work and above all, it only comes with God Himself chiseling off the hard stuff and molding you into the person He has called you to be. We can fake it with a lot of people, but never our spouse and that’s the way it should be. Pray for love to cover your marriage, pray for your desire to only be for your spouse, touch each other often, tell each other what you appreciate about them, spend time together, pray for tenacity and above all pray for God’s Spirit to take over. Pray and stay, people. It’s worth it!

And, to my man, let me just say that I love you more than life itself and more than I ever dreamed possible. Thank you for being a man of grace, wisdom and stength. I admire who you are so much. Happy Anniversary!

Seeking Hearts Ministries