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Lesson Three – Grace is better than white knuckles.
During this season of lessons, my husband has been out-of-town …a lot. I know many couples deal with this on a continual basis, but for us it’s a new season and a hard thing for us to cope with. We are one of those weird couples that actually love spending time together.
Before this season, I didn’t realize that when you only have a few days a week together (if you’re lucky) there is a lot of pressure on being happy the whole time and making the most of every moment together. A lot of expectations develop that neither realize… until they aren’t met.
A few weeks into this new season, I realized I didn’t want to look back at this time in our lives with regret. I realized that even though we will miss each other, I wanted to be able to go through this season with grace. I had no doubt we would survive this time as a couple, but I didn’t want to bare knuckle my way through it. I wanted this to be a time of grace in action. I knew grace was there with me in the moment, God promises that, but I realized I wasn’t taking advantage of it.
My husband and I began to pray and ask God how to get through this time in our lives with grace instead of stress and He gave us some great ideas. We now have connection points that we can count on.
Are there still some hard days? Yes.
Are weekends still high stressed? Sometimes, but we are choosing to accept the grace that God has for us in this season.
I am learning to release my tight grip on what I believe life should look like right now so that my knuckles are no longer white and His grace is abundant. I’m learning that for me… “getting a grip” actually means letting go.
God can do the same for you. Whether you are in a relationship that is strained, a school program that seems overwhelming, a time of busyness, or a time of relaxation, there is grace for this season. You really can loosen your grip, choose grace and allow God to do His thing.
2 Corinthians 12:9– “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness…”
Lesson Three – Grace is better than white knuckles.
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Lesson Two – No parent is perfect.
This lesson has been especially hard for me over the last few months. As my youngest son (now 16) has been asked to give his testimony at times, his story has included how my husband’s and I’s choices have affected him through the years. I love his transparency, but OUCH! …sometimes it’s painful to hear what your child has had to “get over” because of choices we’ve made as parents.
I confess, when we started to homeschool our children, I thought we would be so close as a family that a lot of issues would naturally disappear. Some issues did disappear, but the truth is, others took their place.
After I heard my youngest son’s testimony a few months ago, I went through a time where I rethought every parenting decision we had ever made. But, as I continued to lay my “freak out” at the feet of Jesus, He reminded me that even if we had made different decisions, we still would not be perfect parents. Only our Heavenly Father is perfect. If we had made different decisions, our children would just have something else to “get over”.
I love who my children are becoming. They are thoughtful, insightful, wise, opinionated leaders who will ask questions until they get answers. They are amazing, but that’s not because every parental decision we made was perfect. It’s because our faithful Father continues to mold them into who He wants them to be, not what I imagined for their futures.
They have their own story with God. It’s different than mine. It’s different than anyone else’s on this entire planet and I’ve had to learn that their story includes “getting over” decisions that their parents made…that I made.
Lesson two has been hard for me to accept, but so freeing. My husband and I will continue to pray over every parental decision we make regarding our children and pray for them as individuals as they find their own paths, but every decision we make will not be perfect. Decisions we make with careful prayer and consideration today may just be the decisions they have to “get over” tomorrow.
I’m learning (as humbling as this is) that God will use the imperfections of my children’s parents to mold and teach them in ways only He can. I’m learning that just as I’ve needed to cling to Romans 8:28 throughout my own life, they will need to cling to it as well. They will come through “getting over” decisions that their imperfect parents made knowing “…that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
Lesson two – No parent is perfect.
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I’ve said for some time now that there is a certain crisis of faith that comes to every human when deciding whether they believe God can do what He says He can do. Can He really save me? Can He really heal? Can He really drop manna from the sky? And then, there is the crisis of faith that comes when you know without a doubt that God can move mountains, but He’s just not doing it for you. I mean, what is more frustrating than knowing that someone, anyone, can help, they’re just choosing not to? When that happens, a whole new crisis of faith occurs. Your mountain is looming large and you know your God can move it, but He’s choosing not to and you are left floundering with questions. Is my God really good? Can my God really be trusted? Does He really have a plan for my good? Do I really matter to Him?
I’m not going to pretend to know all the answers to why God is allowing certain things in your life. I’m not even going to pretend to know why He is allowing certain things in my life. I’m not going to pretend to have the answers as to why God would allow children to have cancer, rapists to go free, or even why food can’t be put on every table this week? But, I can tell you (and me) what to focus on when God doesn’t do what we want Him to do.
Let me start by assuring you that you do indeed have a good God. You have a God who does choose to move mountains for you. You have a God who wants you to look like Him and act like Him and love Him as He loves you. You have a never failing, never ceasing, never forsaking God who has a detailed plan for you since before the first molecule was on this earth. Know that because it’s true.
Lamentations 3:17-26 says, “My soul has been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is. Then I thought: My future is lost, as well as my hope from the LORD. Remember my affliction and my homelessness, the wormwood and the poison. I continually remember them and have become depressed. Yet I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him. The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for deliverance from the LORD.” Verses 31-33 go on to say, “For the Lord will not reject us forever. Even if He causes suffering, He will show compassion according to His abundant, faithful love. For He does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering on mankind.”
This passage is so great. We get to see the struggle that Jeremiah had with what was happening all around him and to him. He couldn’t understand it and he became depressed. He even admits in this passage that he lost his hope in the Lord. Then, he decided to remember who His God is. He decided to think about God’s faithfulness, His love and His mercies. He decided that The Lord was his portion for this life and his hope. He decided to rest in God knowing that His God would come through. God’s deliverance obviously wouldn’t look like Jeremiah thought it would. It obviously wouldn’t come at the time that Jeremiah thought that it should, but Jeremiah decided to look up, remember His God and trust. That’s the kind of faith I want, don’t you?
First John 1:5 tells us, “Now this is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light, and there is absolutely no darkness in Him.” You can trust that. Our God has no ulterior motives. He has no dark side. He is good. He is holy. He is true and He. Is. In. Love. With. You.
Song of Solomon 7:10 says, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” God’s desire is toward you. God wants to be with you. He wants to be so melded with you that all people see is Him being uniquely displayed through your personality, your giftings and your sweet face. He has fashioned you for such a time as this and will not stop pursuing you until every fiber of your being is His. He is obsessed with you. Hebrews 13:5 says He will never leave us and Zephaniah 3:17 says He sings over us. That is not a God who fails. That is a God who loves. Believe that today. Know it with every fiber of your being. If you have to be like the father in Mark 9:24 who said, “I do believe!” and then, quickly added, “Help my unbelief,” so be it, but keep pressing in to your God. He can be trusted. He will come through. He will strengthen you for the task and He is worthy of every fragment of faith you place in Him. He has you, precious one. He has you. Rest in that today.
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Isaiah 26:3-4 says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee: for he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the LORD forever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.”
I love these verses. In fact, if you have ever received a card, or an e-mail from me, most likely these verses were below my name. I don’t know if it’s what I would consider my life verse, but it’s a seasonal verse for sure. After all, how can you resist the only formula known to man for peace that actually works? It’s not only true because it’s the Word of God, but I also know from experience how true it really is.
Think about it. When you are upset about a situation, or something that is on the horizon, or even an emergency that hits, are you more peaceful when you keep replaying the event over and over in your mind, or when you speak the name of Jesus? Are you more peaceful in an emergency room thinking about what all the doctor may choose to do, or when you are focusing on the fact that God is your ultimate Healer?
I was just sitting in a doctor’s office yesterday and let me tell you I was letting my mind run away with me. What if she thinks I’m nuts? What if she takes a biopsy? What if she wants a biopsy and makes me come back? What if she draws my blood? How much will all this cost? Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me to focus on Him. My mind was in such a dither that all I could do was whisper the name of Jesus. Eventually, I was able to go through some ABC’s of who God is… “God, you are amazing. I trust You. God, you are bold. I trust You. God, you are compassionate. I trust You…” I was even able to remember a few Scriptures and say those as well. Which helped me more? You know it! Focusing on the Lord.
Let’s open these verses a little more and see how the Amplified Bible translates them. It says: “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character],
Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].
Trust [confidently] in the Lord forever [He is your fortress, your shield, your banner], for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].”
These verses tell us that not only is perfect peace possible, but constant peace as well! Constant peace! How do we get it? With a steadfast mind. What is a steadfast mind? It says that a steadfast mind is committed and focused on the Lord.
I can be committed to something without being focused on it at all times. I am committed to my husband, but I am not focused on him continually (Sorry, honey.). That’s why we have to commit to date nights, hikes in the woods together and conversations where we are looking each other in the eye without distractions. Our commitment stays strong when we focus on each other.
When we commit ourselves to God, no doubt we are all in, but our focus can shift at times. Life can crowd in on us. So, these verses remind us to not only commit, but focus like a laser beam on who He is. Then, the peace we all crave reigns in our life.
The next part of these verses say, “Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].”
We have peace because we are focused on Him and who He is. When we are focused on Him, we are pressed in to Him as close as we can get. We are trusting and taking refuge in Him and this gives us hope which leads to confidence in what He is going to do in our lives.
Think about a hunter who has been sitting in his deer stand for hours when all of a sudden his target pops over the horizon. Do you think he is looking anywhere but at his target? His confident hope has been focused on this objective all morning. He is laser focused on his commitment to feed his family with this deer. That’s how we need to be with God. We need to remember that He provides for us in every way, so our commitment to Him keeps us focused on who He is. God is our prey and our minds are the gun. And, the strength to stay on target? The Holy Spirit.
So, when I am sitting in the doctor’s office and remember (focus in on the fact) that my God is good and that there is no darkness in Him at all (I John 1:5) I have a confident hope that even if the doctor tells me bad news, God is not a mean God. He is good and has good in it for me. When I am sitting in the doctor’s office and I am remembering that God is my Provider, I start to rehearse what miracles of provision has already taken place and I then look with confident hope at how God will provide for these expenses as well. We are able to confidently hope when our minds are focused on Him. When we have hope, we are strong because He is our strength and His strength is everlasting. It never runs out.
Jesus says in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” He’s left His peace for us to take hold of, so let’s grab it and shine like the stars we are meant to be, (Philippians 2:16).
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Water… we all need it. Some of us hate that fact and some of us are okay with it, but all of us know that we must have water to quench our thirst.
Over the course of my life my feelings have changed regarding water. When I was little, I would drink it, but I really preferred other things. When I was a little older, because I got my own drink, water was seldom on the menu. After a few years, water became a necessary evil. I knew I had to drink it, but, “yuck”, I really didn’t like it. I simply thought I was a person who would never care for water. In present days though, I GUZZLE water. I love it. Now, I can’t imagine not wanting water! My relationship with water has definitely changed.
Even though I love water now, there are some days when I have gone too long without a drink. When that happens, I must sip water for a while or it’s too much for my system. If I were to guzzle water at that point, it would do more harm than good. It would cause my body to release even more hydration and I would keep getting weaker. Of course, we know this would cause dehydration.
We’ve seen athletes get dehydrated over the years. We’ve even seen some athletes become so dehydrated they collapse. Their medical staff doesn’t run over and pour water down their throat. No, they gently see to their needs and give them sips of hydration. Sometimes, an I.V. is required and once again the needed liquid has a slow release into the body. This is the only way the athlete can get better. A slow release is much better at that point than a waterfall. A gentle drink is better than guzzling. Their body is craving hydration, but it must be taken in slowly.
Sometimes, this is what our Great Physician must do with us. We are so spiritually dehydrated that we collapse. He lays us back in His arms, as we see medical staff do with dehydrated athletes, and He allows us to sip at His wellspring of life drop by drop and sip by sip. The spiritual athlete in us is craving hydration, but we have been too long without replenishment. Guzzling is out. Sipping is in. This way, when the time is right and when we are rehydrated with His wellspring of life, we are able to keep running our race that He has set before us. At times, we’ve had to stop and lay on the side of the road because we have forgotten that we need to run in His strength, with His hydration and not our own.
Oftentimes, when I am in a dehydrated place I want to hurry and get the nourishment I need and keep running. I just want a quick fix, but this is where the trust comes in. God knows that I need more than a quick fix. He knows if I begin running again too soon the collapse, the spiritual dehydration, will happen once again. I need to trust and lie back in the arms of my Savior. I need to be open to His nourishment in the time He knows my system can handle it. In His arms is the most hydrating place on the planet and this is where I should have been all along. I should have been running the race with His Living Water running through my veins.
Think about a child who has been sick all night. When dehydration sets in, we are told to place an ice chip in the side of their mouth. We wait a little while to make sure their system can tolerate the moisture and then place another if their little body is able to absorb it.
That’s our God. He places a truth in our mouth and waits for us to absorb it. He gives us a gentle sip that our system can handle. The well of God is too deep for us in the moment. We can’t guzzle it yet. We are too dehydrated and are now finally willing to sit and sip. He places truths in us slowly to absorb like ice chips. Truths like…
“I’m always good.”
“I see you.”
“I am your strength.”
“I love them even more than you do.”
“I love you.”
“I am your Healer.”
“Talk to Me.”
“You are NEVER alone.”
“Trust Me. I’ve got you.”
Whatever truth we need, He places it gently into the side of our mouth and helps us to absorb it into the core of our being. We are so thirsty and we want to guzzle the truths of His Word, but He knows a truth absorbed deep into the heart is worth a thousand truths resting unused in the mind.
At times like these, I sometimes look around and see so many others guzzling truth after truth and I want to quote verses to Him like Psalm 81:10, “…Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.” God’s response to me is, “Not this time. Be still and learn. Rest in Me. Sip. Absorb. Sip a little more. Rest in My arms.”
Some truths must be sipped. God uses these times of spiritual emptiness to place His truth into our very bones. Some lessons can only be taught when all other voices are gone, when you are so dependent on His next drop of moisture that your senses are only alert to Him, to His voice and to His rain.
Dehydration is never good, but God uses this place as He uses all things for the greater good (Romans 8:28). He takes these times of need and places us in His arms to take the burdens that we would otherwise never give up. He looks at us drenched in sweat and dehydrated to the core and says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me…you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light,” Matthew 11:28-30.
When the truth He is teaching enters our body and has truly been absorbed, our Great Physician will allow us to start running once again. We are rehydrated, but still weak. He will look us in the eye and keep placing that truth deep into our souls, one drop at a time. That’s our God. That’s our sweet Savior. He’s always teaching and always giving us the hydration we need.
As we make our way on the road once again fully hydrated and fully restored, we have His voice still in our ear, “I am here. I am good. I am your Healer. I am your Great Restorer. I love you…” Whatever lesson we were taught is in the very core of our being maturing and bearing fruit. We were so empty and the truth we needed to learn was too deep to do anything but sip, but sip we did. Restored we are. Running once again with His hydration filling every pore with the full knowledge that our Savior restores, redeems and refreshes all who are willing to lie in His arms and trust.
If it’s your time to sip, rest in the fact that God is faithfully holding you, teaching you and restoring you. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you (Hebrew 13:5), and remember some truths are just too important to gulp. So be still and sip in the arms of your Savior.
*image by Mark’s Daily Apple
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Nehemiah 4:6 says, “So we built the wall and the whole wall was joined together to half its height, for the people had a mind to work.”
I love the book of Nehemiah. There is so much goodness in it. The leadership of Nehemiah, the teamwork of the people, the enemies getting stronger but God’s people steadily plodding to build the wall anyway, all the prayers and encouragement throughout the book and of course the strategy…I love it all.
When I came across Nehemiah 4:6 a while back, I focused on “for the people had a mind to work”. After all, that’s usually what pastors preach about, isn’t it? This time though I was asked to look at how smart Nehemiah was to build all the wall to its half way point. My devotional leader Kelly Minter said, “So instead of completing the sections that were easily coming along and leaving the more difficult chunks for later, they decided to get the whole wall to the halfway mark. This may have meant leaving certain portions that were well-along in order to fill the gaps that were leaving vulnerable holes. It was better for the whole wall to be shored up, even though incomplete, than to have fully built sections here and there while others lie disconnected. This feels like divine wisdom to me.”
It felt like divine wisdom to me as well and I couldn’t help but think about people within our churches. Each church has people who are great at “wall building”. They just seem to be able to pray and trust and have the kind of faith everyone desires. They build great walls of protection around their loved ones through prayer, standing firmly on God’s Word and depending on the Holy Spirit. Through years of pressing in to Jesus they have faithfully built their section of the wall.
Others are more vulnerable. They haven’t gone through as much faith testing. At times, they’ve trusted in things besides their Lord. They sometimes forget to pray when an attack comes. They may not have as much Scripture memorized and they often forget to rely on the Holy Spirit. Their wall still has gaping holes where the enemy can easily penetrate.
Nehemiah 4:6 tells us the smart thing to do is to come together and help each other build the whole wall until all the sections are joined. We may not understand why their section isn’t further along, but we are still called to help.
The people of Jerusalem knew they were still vulnerable if any section of the wall was crumbling. Just because their section was finished, they realized in order for everyone to be safe all the separate walls needed to become one, big wall. That’s just being smart. That’s wisdom. How many times have we heard that we are only as strong as our weakest link? It’s true. It’s also true that our church is only as strong as the wall of protection around it.
There are many people in our churches who need help building. Many people are still too vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks. Their foundation is barely started and they need help.
Oftentimes, it’s just a matter of teaching. People need to know the basics of building a strong foundation through prayer and Bible study, but they also need a side by side mentor that helps teach them the building process.
Others in our churches once had a magnificent wall, but sin, tragedy, or just the pounding of life has reduced it to a crumbling mess. We need to be faithful to help those dear ones clear the rubble away and rebuild. Christian counseling may be needed, forgiveness is often required and the clearing away of lifestyle choices can often help the rubble to be gone and the rebuilding to occur. This takes time and effort. A fresh build is much more exciting than the clearing away of old debris, but it often takes rebuilding the old before the whole wall can be strong once again.
Then there are those who are building for all they are worth, but need our protection. This is especially close to my heart right now because we have some friends who are being hit from every side imaginable. It’s not quite Job, but it’s getting there quickly. We need to be especially vigilant with these precious wall builders. Our wall is doing okay in the moment, our wall is standing strong, but our sweet brothers and sisters are being beat to death by the enemy. They are trying to build, they are trying to learn, they are trying to keep the faith, but the fiery darts keep hitting their backs over and over again. They can’t build because they are too busy defending.
Later in Nehemiah 4, Scripture tells us that in order for the wall to be built and joined together, guards had to be stationed. Some would build and some would guard. Those building had their sword at the ready as well, but they knew someone else was guarding, so they were able to focus on building and not be as distracted. They were encouraged to keep building because their fellow wall builders were taking the time to protect them.
Imagine that…guarding each other so everyone’s section of wall can be built. That’s beautiful. That’s what we need to do for one another and Nehemiah is a beautiful picture of Zephaniah 3:9. This is what it says, “Then will I purify the lips of the peoples, that all of them may call on the name of the LORD and serve him shoulder to shoulder.”
Serving shoulder to shoulder. That’s what it’s all about. Protecting each other and helping each other to build no matter what task that may include.
So, who in our churches needs to be guarded?
Who can you hold your sword up for today?
I’ll admit I look at my half built wall and think, “I still have so much work to do.” The sad fact is we will always have work to do. Our walls will never be finished completely, but God has called us to protect each other, to help everyone get their wall to the halfway point, to join all our walls together and become less vulnerable from attacks by the enemy as a whole church fitly joined together (Ephesians 4:16).
That’s a wonderful picture isn’t it? Building and guarding. Building and guarding. Building and guarding. Loving each other like the family we are. Praying together as a true army and lifting our swords not just for ourselves, but even more readily for those around us. Let’s take the example in Nehemiah and make it true today. Let’s build, help, protect and love as we are called knowing that the vulnerable places in our brothers and sisters will become our own if left in a state of rubble. Knowing that building together is the only way our churches will be strong. Knowing that without the Master Builder we would all be lost. Knowing that our walls will never be perfect, but that fellow believers are raising their swords for our protection and we are raising our sword for theirs.
Beautiful! Absolutley beautiful. Now, let’s get out there and actually do it.
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Song of Solomon 3:7-8 says, “Behold, it is the traveling couch of Solomon; sixty mighty men around it, of the mighty men of Israel. All of them are wielders of the sword, expert in war; each man has his sword at his side. Guarding against the terrors of the night.”
As I came across these verses last week, I realized that to be an expert in war, you have to have had some incredible experiences in battle. I thought about the battles that I would have rather not been through and the battles I would rather my family not have had to face, but I also realized that if we didn’t experience those battles, we would not become the experts in war God would have us to be.
We have to have battles before we can become experts.
Notice as well that these men surrounding the King held their own sword at their side. This reminded me that I need my own relationship with Christ. I can’t depend on someone else’s sword and expect to win my own, personal battles. I have to have my own sword ready to go. Ephesians 6:17 tells us that our sword is the Word of God. I have to know Scripture, memorize Scripture and know how to use it in battle. How exciting to know that Word isn’t just for information and to make us feel good, but to train and use in warfare!
Notice as well how close these experts in war were to the King. This shows us that being close to Christ is a requirment for becoming an expert in battle. When we follow Christ, we will see conflict. Christ Himself tells us to not be surprised when the world hates us because it hated Him (John 15:18-19). Sometimes, I think we have told ourselves that the closer we get to Christ the easier life will be. In one sense, we are absolutely right. The closer we are to Christ, the easier issues will be to handle because we are in agreement with Him and His power is enabling us to handle whatever He allows in our paths, but it does not mean that our paths will be clear of all problems.
As we start our week, let’s remember that battles are ways for us to become the experts in war that God has called us to be. Let’s remember that when one of our family members is facing difficulties we are called to encourage them in prayer, asking God to help them learn what they need to learn in that particular battle. I know that’s hard. I know we just want to pray to get them out of the fray, but for them to be the experts they need to be, the men and women that God has called them to become, they must carry their own sword and use it as battles arise.
Battles are tough and let me be clear… I don’t like them, but knowing that they serve a purpose in our own lives and in the lives of our loved ones helps, doesn’t it? Knowing that each battle makes us more adept at wielding our swords, knowing that each battle draws us closer to our King, is beautiful to think about. So, let’s choose to be thankful for our battles today knowing that each has a purpose, each has a lesson and before you know it we will become experts in war as God intended.
*Image by Popular Mechanics
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Last year, I was on the phone with my mom looking out the front door (I got better reception there because I lived in the boonies). My dog was outside and I noticed that something had caught his attention. He was on high alert because on the other side of the road, on the church steps, a cat was limping. It had obviously been hurt and needed help, but I wondered if my little terrier mix named “Brutus” would decide he needed to give “aid” to the cat. While trying to politely get off the phone with my mom, I was frantically gesturing to Gabe (my youngest son) about taking care of the cat. I was worried Brutus would decide the pain from the underground fence would be worth the price to get to it. Can you even imagine the melee that would ensue?! When I realized I had probably sent my son to the injury of his life, I hurriedly got off the phone just in time to warn Gabe about touching the cat too quickly. Great mom that I am, I finally remembered that injured animals were sometimes the most vicious because of their pain level.
Gabe must be a “cat whisperer” because that cat not only let him touch it, but he ended up cradling it like a baby as he started towards the neighbor’s house to help it back home. I grabbed my shoes and hurriedly ran down the hill to cross the road that leads to the neighbor’s house to help Gabe explain what was going on. The cat, Gabe and I all arrived at the stop sign at bottom of the hill simultaneously and at that moment, the cat must have smelled home. Its claws came out, jumped out of Gabe’s arms and ran across the road…just as a massive truck was coming around the corner. Yep, that cat was executed right before our eyes.
In stunned disbelief we walked back to our house. All I could think was, “How could our good intentions have gone so drastically wrong?” I just kept saying, “I’m sorry, Gabe. I’m so sorry”. Not even really knowing why I was apologizing. Finally, Gabe asked, “Why do you keep saying your sorry?” I told him I just hated that he had to go through it. I hated that I had asked him to help. I hated that I had gotten him involved at all and then, I finally told him the truth… I had no idea why I kept apologizing. It was all I could do, I guess. I was simply stunned (as was he). I could barely look at him for the rest of the day because I was afraid I would just start apologizing again and bring the whole horrible ordeal up again.
After the initial shock and once the neighbors came home, we explained what had happened and they were very gracious, but still to this day I am a little shocked over it. How in the world did a well-intentioned action evolve into such a horrible disaster?
As crazy as it may seem, I think that cat helped me realize how the disciples must have felt once Jesus was taken to be crucified. They must have sat in stunned disbelief having no idea how things had gone so wrong. They had just had an amazing time together, had heard some incredible teaching and then…
Was Andrew not able to look at Peter? Was Philip apologizing over and over to Nathanael? After all, the book of John tells us that they were the ones responsible for bringing them to Jesus. Were they all barely looking at each other as I could barely look at Gabe? Were they sitting in stunned disbelief not really understanding how in the world their well-intentioned actions led to such a disaster? And James? The older brother of John? He couldn’t even find his brother to apologize.
Stunned disbelief. It gets the best of all of us.
Before the cat incident, I’ve had other times of stunned disbelief. After an event, I would sit thinking about how in the world something went wrong and was flabbergasted by how quickly it got there. I’ve not killed anymore cats that I know of, but I have let a well-intentioned conversation get out of hand. I’ve also allowed myself to start watching something, or reading something that a few days later had me sitting in stunned disbelief that it had gone that far and I allowed myself to finish watching, or reading it. I’ve even been well-intentioned in witnessing to my neighbor and then, somehow chickened out. I sat in stunned disbelief later knowing that my apathy and fear had controlled me instead of the Holy Spirit inside of me. Stunned disbelief.
Has it happened to you? Ever started talking to that guy, or girl at work with the best of intentions, knowing they just needed a sounding board, but now you sit in stunned disbelief that the relationship went where it did?
Ever decided to eat that one serving of cake only to discover the next day that every bit of it was gone?
Ever think your family will understand the long hours you put in at work only to discover all their bags packed and you are now living what’s left of your life alone?
The really amazing thing is right in the middle of the disciples’ stunned disbelief, Jesus appeared. John 20:19-20 says, “Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you. And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.”
Right in the middle of their trauma, their stunned disbelief, their heartache, Jesus came and He wants to do the same for you and me.
Are you in the middle of an affair you can’t believe happened in the first place? First John 1:9 tells us that Jesus is the Great Forgiver and He is with you right now in the middle of your place of stunned disbelief.
Are you in stunned disbelief over the diagnosis that you just received from your doctor? Psalm 103 tells us that Jesus can heal all our diseases.
Are you in stunned disbelief that a loved one has just passed away? Psalm 23 tells us that our Great Shepherd is with us even in the valley of the shadow of death.
Are you sitting in stunned disbelief over last night’s events? Can you not believe that you took that drink, smoked that joint, watched that porn, did that deed that you swore would never happen again? Lamentations 3:22-23 tells us that God’s mercies are new every morning.
He stays faithful even when we are sitting in stunned disbelief. He’s not shocked like you are. He knew it would happen and He has already covered it with His blood on the Cross. He knew it would happen and He still loves you. In fact, according to Zephaniah 3:17 He is still singing over you right this moment. Come out of your stunned disbelief and enter into His stunning grace. You never have a need to be ashamed again. His banner over you is love (Song of Solomon 2:4).
These are His words to you today and every day: “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come… (Song of Sol. 2:10-12). Live in that today!
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The author of this exact quote is unknown, but I love it. It reminds me of First Thessalonians 5:24 -“Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” In other words, success is inevitable when it’s God’s call on your life.
Has He called you to coach?
Has He called you to teach?
Has He called you to write?
Has He called you to raise those kiddos?
Has He called you to sing your heart out?
Has He called you to tend to your home on a full time basis?
Has He called you to tend a sick loved one?
How about going to the mission field (close to home, or abroad)?
Has He called you to drive a school bus, deliver mail, or maybe even clean windows?
Whatever He has called you to do…rest in the fact that success is inevitable. No striving. No freaking out. Only simple obedience, faith and trust in Him is necessary. He will bring it to pass. It’s not only a great quote…it’s Scriptural.
Rest in that truth this week and know that no matter what circumstances may look like in this moment, when God has called you and you have answered, “Yes”, success is inevitable. Don’t proceed with caution. Proceed in faith knowing that your God has more for you than you ever imagined (Ephesians 3:20).