Let’s Celebrate!

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The last blog post was number 200! Crazy to think about how intimidating it was to press “publish” for the first time all those years ago. God really does grow us in amazing ways when we allow Him to.

So, today, with post 201, let’s celebrate with some amazing music. Kick your shoes off, stretch your arms in complete abandonment, and worship the one and only God of the universe.

Who Am I

No Other Name

There’s No Other Name

Reckless Love

How He Loves Us

Jesus We Love You

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop there. Breathe these songs in and enjoy the celebration!

Much Love,

Melissa

Seeking Hearts Ministries

*image by voice.fgs.org

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Are Details Driving you Insane?

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I Thessalonians 5:24 says, “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”

I really need this reminder today.

My guy is a visionary. He gets an idea, knows a certain path and that’s it…he’s ready to take the plunge.

I, on the other hand, am a detail girl.

I love the big ideas, but my mind automatically goes to the how.

If we are my moving, I remember every detail that needs to happen to get us there.

If we are remodeling a space, even though I am not a construction person, I seem to be the one to remember to buy the nails.

If we are going on a trip, I think of every little detail…over and over again.

That’s what kept me from sleeping well last night…a trip we are going on this year. Details, details, details. Even though details are good, they can also drive me insane.

During my mental list making in the night, the Holy Spirit reminded me of I Thessalonians 5:24. He reminded me that I am called to go and He will accomplish what is supposed to be accomplished. Yes, I need to remember to bring my toothpaste, but He will take care of the details of loving on the people, teaching what needs to be taught, health concerns, and so much more because “Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.”

Rest in that this week. Write your lists and use the gift of details that God has given you, but then set the pen, or phone, or whatever instrument you use to write your list with, aside and trust Him to accomplish the call on your life. Depend on Him for every detail knowing that He is always faithful.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

My Story

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When Your Youngest Leaves the Nest

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I remember in late July of 2000, my oldest son Wes and I sat in a little corner alcove in a second floor apartment in Albany, Georgia, and began our school career. I say, “our” because my husband and I felt called by God to home school our kids. We never took for granted the call and prayed before each school year whether it was still the right decision for our family. In fact, at times, I may have even begged God that the call would change! That little alcove was the perfect size for a student desk, so we stacked our little books, prayed, and began our journey.

The reason why we started in July was because I was pregnant. Our second baby boy who was due in October, so I wanted to get a jump on things. I wanted to understand how this homeschooling thing was going to work before a new baby entered our world.

I could go on and on about my oldest son, Wes. He is so smart, y’all. He zoomed through Kindergarten and First Grade in the same year, graduated high school at sixteen, had me answering questions I never knew existed, and still to this day is one of the most motivated people I know. He’s amazing, but today, this blog is about my God, and that baby boy who we named Gabe.

Both of our boys are all grown up now, and as of tomorrow, my husband and I will officially be “empty nesters.” I can’t even describe all the emotions taking place. I am so proud of Gabe, so excited for him, and so looking forward to sharing with him this next journey of life, and yet, I’m sad. But more than being sad, I am in this incredible state of awe because I absolutely know that taking these kids from not being able to read and write, to the incredible, intelligent individuals they are is completely due to God’s empowerment.

I remember back in 2000, and often thereafter, reminding God that I’m great a starting things, but not so great at finishing them. I remember reminding Him that this is His call, so He has do it. And do you know what? He did. He always had my back.

I would hit a snag with curriculum that wasn’t quite what we needed, we would pray, and He would show us another path to choose.

I would teach a lesson and one of the boys would still have a glazed-over, no idea what I’m talking about look, I would pray, and God would give me an idea to come at the lesson from a different angle. Oftentimes, these ideas were so creative, that I knew it was not coming from me!

I would need strength to get up in the mornings and stick to our agenda. He would provide.

I would need flexibility to do what worked for us and not what a certain “expert” suggested. He would always give the grace to relax and depend only on Him.

I could fill page after page and give example after example of how God and only God homeschooled these boys for all these years. I just simply had the privilege of joining Him in the endeavor.

Mark 10:27 says, “Looking at them, Jesus said, ‘With men it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God’.” I have literally seen this verse be absolutely true in every single day of every single school year, but especially this last one. It reminds me of King David in II Samuel 7:18 where he says, “…Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that Thou hast brought me this far?”

So, on Saturday, the day we drop our baby boy into the world of college life for the first time, I choose to remember that God has always had my back, He’s always had my boys’ backs, and He loves my kid even more than I do.

Not only that, but I am choosing to run into this next phase of life with joy, excitement for each day, and an expectation to see what God has for me, this homeschooling mom who’s now retired and knows without a doubt that her God can do anything.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

 

 

When Your Husband Gets Beats Up By Your Blender

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So…a few Sundays ago my amazing husband asked me what I wanted for supper and I said, “Actually, I think I need a smoothie. My nutrition hasn’t been what it should be today. I’ll fix you and G whatever, but that’s what I’m going to have.”

A few minutes passed and he said, “Don’t worry about G and I. I’ll fix us both supper and I’ll fix your smoothie too.”

I was super thankful and stayed seated on the couch taking in this awesome gift that I was receiving from my man.

A few minutes later, I heard my Vitamix start up. (If any of you have heard a Vitamix you know that the WHOLE HOUSE knows when it starts. It sounds like a jet engine and is AMAZING at crushing ice, but I digress.) Then, I heard this horrible crunching sound. My heart dropped and I calmly said, “I’ve never heard it make that noise before.”

Nothing.

Crickets.

Finally… “Yeah. I messed up.”

Gulp.

“What do you mean? What happened? Did the Vitamix break? Is my smoothie okay?” (I do have priorities, y’all.)

“Well,” he says, “the plunger got caught in the blade and about ripped my hand off, but I’m okay.”

I would love to tell you that at this point I totally laughed it off, ran to my amazing husband and kissed him, thanking God that he was okay, but that’s not what happened. In fact, I was very angry. I could not for the life of me understand how my man had bypassed the safety guard and managed to plunge the specialized accessory into a roaring jet engine. I had to explain how these smoothies are all I can eat (exaggeration), how this accessory cannot easily be found (slight exaggeration), how I couldn’t understand how in the world he had managed to go out of his way to figure out how to ruin my plunger (ridiculous statement number 27). My emotions went nuts.

After a few minutes, I did calm down. I began to realize it’s just one of those things. I even acknowledged that I, at times, have had the safety lid to slip, and I even asked if his wrist was okay.

After he ordered me a new accessory on Amazon, I took a breath, thanked him for trying to make me supper, and life went on. After all, I’m a Prime member and my accessory was getting here on Tuesday. That would be two smoothies at the most that I would have to “tough it out”.

That was July 24th. Still no special accessory. You guessed it…lost in the mail.

Now, I do laugh. What else can you do? It takes me at least 8 cycles of stopping and starting the Vitamix each time I want a smoothie. I specify “stopping and starting” due to another part of my man’s Vitamix beat down that I haven’t mentioned yet.

After the first fiasco, my guy remade my smoothie (without all the plastic remnants of the special accessory floating around). As he was stopping and starting the machine, so he could adjust the ingredients to finish blending, he removed the lid a little too soon. I hear, “Ugh! Your Vitamix just spit all over me.” At that point, he just walked away… and who can blame him? I finished up and noticed there was smoothie splattered EVERYWHERE! All over him, the counter, the Vitamix itself, and even the ceiling. I had never seen anything like it. I truly think that Vitamix was mad at him for destroying his friend. It was weird, and I was truly thankful that my smoothie was orange and not red. (Think about that one!)

He wasn’t ready to laugh yet, so I just turned away and giggled to myself.

I totally know that this is a “first world problem” and in the scheme of things, whether I have to stop and start my Vitamix fifty times a day is not even the point. The point is that little annoyances pop up every day. Some are a lot more annoying than others, but as children of God, let’s not let those annoyances cause us to be annoying. Let’s shine like stars instead. Philippians 2:14-15 says, “Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world.”

Let’s look around and be grateful for what we do have. Whether we have a $20 blender from Wal-Mart, a Vitamix, or simply food on the table, let’s allow God’s Light in us to shine through so that all others see is Him.

P.S. – We re-ordered our accessory and are told it should be here tomorrow. When it arrives (I’m believing in faith, y’all), I may take a picture of it to celebrate!

*image by 123RF.com

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Overworking the Dough

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Contentment is something none of us like to talk about, or maybe it’s just me that doesn’t like to talk about it. It is definitely not part of the American Dream and is often seen as a lifestyle with no goals, no ambition and a “going with the flow” kind of an attitude like that not too smart surfer dude we’ve all seen on T.V.

Biblical contentment is so different from this picture. In fact, I think that the Biblical rendition of contentment is some of the hardest work we are called to do. There is nothing lazy about it. The apostle Paul says in Philippians 4 that he had learned to be content in whatever circumstances he found himself. He says in verse twelve, “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” Notice he says there is a secret to contentment and he had to learn it. He admits to us that contentment does not happen naturally. It takes work, but Paul doesn’t leave us in suspense. In the very next verse he tells us how he has learned the secret of contentment. It says, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Paul willingly admits that only through Christ’s strength can contentment be a part of who he is and who we are. That doesn’t sound lazy to me. In fact, contentment sounds like hard work if it can only be accomplished through the strength of Christ.

We see that contentment is not defined by laziness, it’s defined by resting in Christ’s strength. There is a big difference. Laziness is simply sitting on your bum and not doing the work you are called to do. Resting is completing necessary tasks and then, you guessed it… resting.

It reminds me of baking bread. When baking bread, you get your recipe out that the great recipe creator of all time designed (Betty Crocker). You put your ingredients on the counter. You mix all of the ingredients at their proper time and in their proper way, checking your recipe continually and then, you work the dough. You knead it until your wrists are going to fall off. Then, you let it rest. You might go to another task, or you might read a book for a while, or even watch T.V., but you leave that dough alone. Are you being lazy? No! You are content with letting the bread rise. When the time is right, you go back to the dough, work with it some more and once again allow it to rest. At the proper time, the dough finally gets put in the oven where once again you will rest while the bread is doing its thing. The awesome aroma of baked bread fills the space and you are content knowing that the recipe you followed has helped produce the results you want.

In our spiritual life, just like in the process of physically making bread, we get the recipe out (the Word of God) and we get the ingredients together for the task He has before us (Don’t worry. His Spirit will tell you through His Word what those ingredients need to be). As we check the recipe continually, we are sure to mix the right ingredients at the proper time and in the right amounts. Then, we work the ingredients until His Spirit in us says to let it rest. I think this is the hardest part. We look at the lump of dough and then back at God and say, “But, it’s not finished.” We try to work the dough more and finally He has to stop us in some way knowing that we will ruin the dough if we don’t allow it to rest. This is what contentment is all about. Trust. We have to know that even though we aren’t “working the dough”, He is.  Second Thessalonians 5:24 says, “Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.” This verse tells us that we are called, but ultimately, He does the work. He is completing the perfect work while we rest in Him. Are we lazy? No. Some of the hardest work we will ever do will be resting in Him, learning contentment and not over-working the dough.

I might just nail that phrase to my forehead: “Don’t overwork the dough!” If there is something that drives me to distraction, it is an uncompleted task. Learning contentment is knowing when to step back and let the dough rest in Him. That doesn’t mean it’s unfinished. It just means He has it handled. Contentment is remembering that if I keep working the dough it will become an unusable, elastic mess, but when I allow it to rest in Him, it will turn out perfect every time.

Let’s press in close to Him this week, allowing Him to speak to us as we read the recipe of His Word over and over again, teaching us what ingredients to place on the counter (knowing that He has already provided every one) and then allowing Him to gently remove our hands when our part is completed in the task knowing that He who began the good work will complete it (Philippians 1:6). That’s the secret of contentment Paul was referring to. That’s allowing Him to be strong in us. That’s allowing the dough to be perfected. Rest in Him today.

 

Seeking Hearts Ministries

My Story

 

Photo by WiseGeek.org

Staying Hydrated

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Water… we all need it. Some of us hate that fact and some of us are okay with it, but all of us know that we must have water to quench our thirst.

Over the course of my life my feelings have changed regarding water. When I was little, I would drink it, but I really preferred other things. When I was a little older, because I could get my own drink, water was seldom on the menu. After a few years, water became a necessary evil. I knew I had to drink it, but, “yuck”, I really didn’t like it. I simply thought I was a person who would never care for water. Today, I GUZZLE water. I love it. I can’t imagine not wanting water! My relationship with water has definitely changed.

Even though I now love water, there are still days when I go too long without a drink. When that happens, I must sip water for a while or it’s too much for my system. If I were to guzzle water at that point, it would do more harm than good. It would cause my body to release even more hydration and I would keep getting weaker. Of course, we know this would cause dehydration.

We’ve seen athletes get dehydrated over the years. We’ve even seen some athletes become so dehydrated they collapse. Their medical staff doesn’t run over and pour water down their throat. No, they gently see to their needs and give them sips of hydration. Sometimes an I.V. is required, and once again the needed liquid has a slow release into the body. This is the only way the athlete can get better. A slow release is much better at that point than a waterfall. A gentle drink is better than guzzling. Their body is craving hydration, but it must be taken in slowly.

Sometimes, this is what our Great Physician must do with us. We are so spiritually dehydrated that we collapse. He lays us back in His arms, as we see medical staff do with dehydrated athletes, and He allows us to sip at His wellspring of life drop by drop and sip by sip. The spiritual athlete in us is craving hydration, but we have been too long without replenishment. Guzzling is out. Sipping is in. This way, when the time is right and when we are rehydrated with His wellspring of life, we are able to keep running our race that He has set before us. At times, we’ve had to stop and lay on the side of the road because we have forgotten that we need to run in His strength, with His hydration and not our own.

Oftentimes, when I am in a dehydrated place I want to hurry and get the nourishment I need and keep running. I just want a quick fix, but this is where the trust comes in. God knows that I need more than a quick fix. He knows if I begin running again too soon, the collapse, the spiritual dehydration, will happen once again. I need to trust and lie back in the arms of my Savior. I need to be open to His nourishment in the time He knows my system can handle it.  In His arms is the most hydrating place on the planet and this is where I should have been all along. I should have been running the race with His Living Water running through my veins.

Think about a child who has been sick all night. When dehydration sets in, we are told to place an ice chip in the side of their mouth. We wait a little while to make sure their system can tolerate the moisture and then place another, but only if their little body is able to absorb it.

That’s our God. He places a truth in our mouth and waits for us to absorb it. He gives us a gentle sip that our system can handle. The well of God is too deep for us in the moment. We can’t guzzle it yet. We are too dehydrated and are now finally willing to sit and sip. He places truths in us slowly to absorb like ice chips. Truths like…

“I’m here.”

“I’m always good.”

“I see you.”

“Forgive.”

“I am your strength.”

“I love them even more than you do.”

“I love you.”

“I am your Healer.”

“Talk to Me.”

“You are NEVER alone.”

“Trust Me. I’ve got you.”

“I am for you.”

“I AM…”

Whatever truth we need, He places it gently into the side of our mouth and helps us to absorb it into the core of our being. We are so thirsty and we want to guzzle the truths of His Word, but He knows a truth absorbed deep into the heart is worth a thousand truths resting unused in the mind.

At times like these, I sometimes look around and see so many others guzzling truth after truth and I want to quote verses to Him like Psalm 81:10, “…Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.” God’s response to me is, “Not this time. Be still and learn. Rest in Me. Sip. Absorb. Sip a little more. Rest in My arms.”

Some truths must be sipped. God uses these times of spiritual emptiness to place His truth into our very bones. Some lessons can only be taught when all other voices are gone, when you are so dependent on His next drop of moisture that your senses are only alert to Him, to His voice and to His rain.

Dehydration is never good, but God uses this place as He uses all things for the greater good (Romans 8:28). He takes these times of need and places us in His arms to take the burdens that we would otherwise never give up. He looks at us drenched in sweat and dehydrated to the core and says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me…you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light,” Matthew 11:28-30.

When the truth He is teaching enters our body and has truly been absorbed, our Great Physician will allow us to start running once again. We are rehydrated, but still weak. He will look us in the eye and keep placing replenishing truth deep into our souls, one drop at a time. That’s our God. That’s our sweet Savior. He’s always teaching and always giving us the hydration we need. Just like Psalm 16:11 says, He reveals the path of life to us.

As we make our way on the road once again fully hydrated and fully restored, we have His voice still in our ear, “I am here. I am good. I am your Healer. I am your Great Restorer. I love you…” Whatever lesson we were taught is in the very core of our being maturing and bearing fruit. We were so empty and the truth we needed to learn was too deep to do anything but sip, but sip we did. Restored we are. Running once again with His hydration filling every pore with the full knowledge that our Savior restores, redeems and refreshes all who are willing to lie in His arms and trust.

If it’s your time to sip, rest in the fact that God is faithfully holding you, teaching you and restoring you. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you (Hebrew 13:5), and remember some truths are just too important to gulp. So be still and sip in the arms of your Savior.

Seeking Hearts Ministries            My Story

*image by Mark’s Daily Apple

 

 

Is it up to God, or Me?

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If you’ve been around me at all recently, you know I’ve been reading a lot of Andrew Murray’s books. The one I’m currently studying is called “Absolute Surrender” and I highly recommend it.

As I was reading along this week, Mr. Murray took us to Galatians 3:1-3. This is what it says, “You foolish Galatians! Who has hypnotized you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was vividly portrayed as crucified? I only want to learn this from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now going to be made complete by the flesh?”

After beginning with the Spirit, are you now going to be made complete (KJV says “perfect”) by the flesh?” That really hit me. Did I receive Christ by the Spirit? Yes. But, how am I receiving power for each day? Am I depending on Christ’s Spirit in me, or am I depending on my own self will and determination to live the Christian life? Am I white knuckling the Word, or resting in the completion that Christ has gifted in me?

His Spirit is in me for a purpose and yet I find myself thinking I have to figure out how to get all these “good works” done in my own strength. Christ is in me to fulfill all He has called me to do, not so He can simply whisper where I’m supposed to go and leave me to it, but also to empower me every step of the way. I forget that.

I’ve deceived myself into believing that I’m supposed to work out my completion in Christ. By studying His Word and praying, I’ve thought that I knew what I was supposed to do. So each day, I’ve taken Jesus by the hand and powered on in my own ability. I am discovering though that I will never be able to grow in Christ. Only His Spirit can accomplish that in me. My flesh, my will, my determination is not what makes me a mature Christian. Only my absolute dependence on Christ makes me complete.

Look at all the times we have failed Christ when our intentions were good. Look at all the times we made new commitments, renewed vows, or even woke up thinking “Today, I am going to………., or not …………. like yesterday”, but then lunchtime comes and we look at the day and wonder, “What happened? I was so determined to make it work this time.”

I’ll tell you what happened. We tried to do it in our own strength. Philippians 4:13 says, “I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” We forget that this verse is describing Christ’s strength in us. It’s not describing walking along the path of our Christian life in our own strength and when we need help, Christ giving us a boost. Philippians 4:13 is reminding us that in order to do anything  it’s all about Christ’s strength and not just using Him as our spotter.

Are you familiar with who a spotter is? This isn’t something that’s usually in my scope of everyday life, but my oldest is into weight lifting, so I’m learning. Wikipedia describes it this way, “Spotting in weight or resistance training, is the act of supporting another person during a particular exercise, with an emphasis on allowing the participant to lift or push more than they could normally do safely.”

 I confess, I have treated the Holy Spirit as a spotter when in reality He simply wants me to be the weights in His arms. It’s His job to lift me to heights I never realized were possible. It’s by His strength I am able to join with others in tasks we never imagined. It’s by His power that I can do all things because as a weight in His hand, I am relying on His force, not mine.

That’s when verses like Psalm 112:7 are possible. It says,He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the LORD.”

This is a good example because I’ve actually memorized this verse and tried to will myself into the completion of it in my life. In the past, I start to imagine a bad scenario that may, or may not happen in the near future. I remember this verse and will myself not to fear. That works for a while, but what I’m finding is that I need to go a step further. When I am simply a weight in the arms of God, I rest in His strength. I tell Him I can’t accomplish this verse without His muscle and He lifts me by His strength into the empowerment of this verse. I truly then do not fear bad news because I am living in His strength. He will pack me where I need to go. He will lift me to where I need to be and because I am in absolute surrender to a faithful, trustworthy God His strength becomes my reality. Our flesh cannot accomplish this in us…only our God can make this happen.

“O, foolish Galatians…”

“O, foolish Christians…”

“O, foolish Melissa…”

Our Lord never intended for us to complete our lives on this earth in the power of the flesh. Our God has given us everything we need to live out our Christian faith and it’s not willpower, it’s Him. Simply and totally Him.

Isaiah 40:28-31 says, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.”

That’s His desire for you. Rest in His arms today and let Him lift you higher than you ever thought possible.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

** Image by Fitness Health

God’s got the Details

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(I originally wrote this before going to Cuba last year, but I NEEDED to be reminded…again.)

I Thessalonians 5:24 says, “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”

I really need this reminder today.

My guy is a visionary. He gets an idea, knows a certain path and that’s it…he’s ready to take the plunge.

I, on the other hand, am a detail girl.

I love the big ideas, but my mind automatically goes to the how.

If we are my moving, I remember every detail that needs to happen to get us there.

If we are remodeling a space, even though I am not a construction person, I seem to be the one to remember to buy the nails.

If we are going on a mission trip, I think of every little detail…over and over again.

That’s what kept me from sleeping some last night…a mission trip we are going on this summer. Details, details, details. Even though details are good, they can also drive me insane.

During my mental list making last night, the Holy Spirit reminded me of I Thessalonians 5:24. He reminded me that I am called to go and He will accomplish what is supposed to be accomplished. Yes, I need to remember to bring my toothpaste, but He will take care of the details of loving on the people, teaching what needs to be taught, the team’s health and so much more because “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”

Rest in that this week. Write your lists and use the gift of details that God has given you, but then set the pen aside and trust Him to accomplish the call on your life. Depend on Him for every detail knowing that He is always faithful.

*image by Europeon Vacation Travel Blog

Seeking Hearts Ministries

My Story

 

Staying Broken

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In Watchman Nee’s book “The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit”, he expresses that in order for Christ to flow freely out of us and into the world around us, we must be broken vessels. He gives example after example of life being released only once a vessel has been broken.

One example Nee uses is a seed. In John 12:24, Jesus says, “Unless the grain of wheat falls in to the ground and dies, it abides alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” He explains that it’s not a matter of whether the grain has life, but whether the outer shell is broken. How does this happen? Through temperature, rain, and the earth itself. All come together to break the shell of the seed, so the life of the grain can be exposed and grow.

Another example Nee uses is the alabaster flask in John 12. Unless the flask had been broken, the pure oil would not have been released. Without the breaking, the precious ointment would have still been inside. The value wouldn’t have been released without the breaking of the outer shell.

As I was contemplating this first chapter, trying to absorb new truths, I remembered that Nee asked, “What if the broken places in our lives, the very wounds that we try to keep covered, what if those are the very places Christ can shine through?

Wait a minute. You mean all those injuries, all those hurts, all those cracks in this hard shell are supposed to stay open? You mean I don’t have to “pick myself up and dust myself off”? You mean as I lay broken in complete surrender at the foot of the Cross, that’s when people see God in me? It’s not about “having it all together”, but really about falling apart?

Wow. Just wow.

I’ve always thought that putting my broken pieces back together made me a “good Christian”, a stronger Christian, when in reality that was defeating the purpose. When I cement the pieces that God has broken away from me back with self-recrimination, doubts, discouragement, self-judgment, or whatever adhesive I’m using that day, all I’m doing is removing the places that the light of God can shine through. Then, He has to get His chisel out once again.

When I realize all the wounds, the hurts, the disappointments that have become broken places in my life are for God to shine through, then it’s all worth it. Why would I try to put pieces back together that have always been meant to be exposed? How can I be the light of the world if I’m not willing to let Him shine through my broken places?

I’ll admit, this is completely foreign territory for me. I’m really into “having it all together”. Believe me. But, I’m more into what God wants me to be, and this feels right. This concept of staying broken before Him makes sense. It’s about absolute surrender. It’s about being the branch and depending on our Vine. It’s about being the light in a dark world. If I have a hard shell, that doesn’t happen. If my alabaster flask stays closed, His life-giving ointment cannot flow onto others. I’m not talking about staying a victim. That’s unhealthy. What I am talking about is allowing God’s hand to remove the dry, crusty shell of a girl who has places in her life that are hard as a rock. Nee says that we can’t speed up the process, but we can extend it. I have definitely seen this in my own life.

So, my prayer has changed quite a bit over the last few weeks. Instead of praying for ways to “get it together”, I’m praying for the places that need to be broken to be removed in His time and in His way. I’m praying for the continued willingness to let the pieces fall where He wants them to fall, and allow them to stay that way in order for His presence to shine through me.

Let’s be broken together so that all people see is His light shining through.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

*image by prayers4america