How to Move Forward With no Regrets

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“I wouldn’t change a thing”. This is what my father-in-law said about his marriage to my mother-in-law after 50 years.

“50 years and you would not change one thing?” I wondered silently, “You wouldn’t change the hardships that I remember you reminiscing about? You wouldn’t change difficulties like miscarriages, financial woes, a Christmas where all your gifts were stolen? You wouldn’t change anything?”

I will admit I was skeptical, at first. I mean, after all, wouldn’t I change some things about my husband and myself’s marriage of 26 years? Wouldn’t I change the struggles that we have faced? Wouldn’t I want a healthier start for us, an easier path? Wouldn’t I change something?  Would I change the struggle that we had that brought our marriage to the brink of extinction back in our fifth year?  Would I change the many moves we have made due to my husband’s call into the ministry? Knowing what I know now, would I really change the ministry struggles that we have faced?

As I pondered this, I began to realize… I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING either! But, it’s only because God is so good at what He does. Romans 8:28 says that He works all things out for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He is so good at this promise that my father-in-law and I can look back over incredible hardships and say with every fiber of our being, “I would not change a thing.” How could we? Wisdom has come from previous unwise choices. A trap we have fallen into keeps us from a greater trap years later. Stronger faith comes from seeing God work through incredible hardships in ministry. Trust in God’s provision and being thankful in all circumstances has resulted from financial crisis. Why would I change any lesson that turned out so great? When I see the goodness of God and realize how trustworthy He is, how could I possibly be filled with regrets? How could the chains of my past hold me in an endless cycle of ‘what if’? God is so good at what He does! He works all things for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. So, I absolutely would not change a thing!

Our ultimate example, of course, is Jesus Christ. The Word of God says in Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” We see here that Jesus trusted His Father to turn all the horrible injustice of the cross into the ultimate good. Did He enjoy the cross? The Bible says clearly He did not; in fact, He despised it. Yet, He submitted to the process because He knew His father was able to and would turn the ultimate place of suffering into the beautiful place of Redemption that we have today. Jesus is now able to look at the cross which He despised and then look at us, redeemed and righteous through Him and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Think over your own life experiences. Maybe it is your marriage, but maybe it’s your job, your family, your health, any area where suffering has occurred. At the starting line we would ALWAYS choose an easier road, but would we now?

Through infertility, an amazing child has been adopted that otherwise would still be in an orphanage. Through bankruptcy, a release of hypocrisy has been born in us and compassion abounds. Through a friend’s betrayal, we now know The Great Physician heals emotional as well as physical pain. Would we really change those lessons?

Only our God can do this for us. Only our God can take unspeakable heartache, unbelievable adversity, and unjustifiable sin and mold it into a life that we can in all honesty look at and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Trust Him with the hard things in your life. Trust that He can mold all the aches into a beautiful testimony. A testimony that at the end of time when it’s just you and Jesus holding hands looking out at the lives you both led on this earth, you can see Him look at His life of suffering and you can look at yours and you both can then look at God the Father and realize what He has done and say, “we wouldn’t change a thing.”

Seeking Hearts Ministries 

*image by YouTube.com

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Staying Broken

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In Watchman Nee’s book “The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit”, he expresses that in order for Christ to flow freely out of us and into the world around us, we must be broken vessels. He gives example after example of life being released only once a vessel has been broken.

One example Nee uses is a seed. In John 12:24, Jesus says, “Unless the grain of wheat falls in to the ground and dies, it abides alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” He explains that it’s not a matter of whether the grain has life, but whether the outer shell is broken. How does this happen? Through temperature, rain, and the earth itself. All come together to break the shell of the seed, so the life of the grain can be exposed and grow.

Another example Nee uses is the alabaster flask in John 12. Unless the flask had been broken, the pure oil would not have been released. Without the breaking, the precious ointment would have still been inside. The value wouldn’t have been released without the breaking of the outer shell.

As I was contemplating this first chapter, trying to absorb new truths, I remembered that Nee asked, “What if the broken places in our lives, the very wounds that we try to keep covered, what if those are the very places Christ can shine through?”

Wait a minute. You mean all those injuries, all those hurts, all those cracks in this hard shell are supposed to stay open? You mean I don’t have to “pick myself up and dust myself off”? You mean as I lay broken in complete surrender at the foot of the Cross, that’s when people see God in me? It’s not about “having it all together”, but really about falling apart?

Wow. Just wow.

I’ve always thought that putting my broken pieces back together made me a “good Christian”, a stronger Christian, when in reality that was defeating the purpose. When I cement the pieces that God has broken away from me back with self-recrimination, doubts, discouragement, self-judgment, or whatever adhesive I’m using that day, all I’m doing is removing the places that the light of God can shine through. Then, He has to get His chisel out once again.

When I realize all the wounds, the hurts, the disappointments that have become broken places in my life are for God to shine through, then it’s all worth it. Why would I try to put pieces back together that have always been meant to be exposed? How can I be the light of the world if I’m not willing to let Him shine through my broken places?

I’ll admit, this is completely foreign territory for me. I’m really into “having it all together”. Believe me. But, I’m more into what God wants me to be, and this feels right. This concept of staying broken before Him makes sense. It’s about absolute surrender. It’s about being the branch and depending on our Vine. It’s about being the light in a dark world. If I have a hard shell, that doesn’t happen. If my alabaster flask stays closed, His life-giving ointment cannot flow onto others. I’m not talking about staying a victim. That’s unhealthy. What I am talking about is allowing God’s hand to remove the dry, crusty shell of a girl who has places in her life that are hard as a rock. Nee says that we can’t speed up the process, but we can extend it. I have definitely seen this in my own life.

So, my prayer has changed quite a bit over the last few weeks. Instead of praying for ways to “get it together”, I’m praying for the places that need to be broken to be removed in His time and in His way. I’m praying for the continued willingness to let the pieces fall where He wants them to fall, and allow them to stay that way in order for His presence to shine through me.

Let’s be broken together so that all people see is His light shining through.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

*image by prayers4america

 

When God says, “No.”

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In Second Samuel 7, we see that King David had it in his heart to build the Lord a temple. David was convicted that his dwelling was in a beautiful house, but His God dwelt in a tent. He got really excited and shared his vision with Nathan, the prophet, who also got excited. As we continue to read though, we see that later that night God told Nathan David wasn’t the one to build the Temple. Solomon, David’s son, would be the one to build the Lord a dwelling place. God did promise that David’s kingdom would be established for ever through the Messiah, but for now David himself was not called to finish the vision for the Temple.

The Word tells us that David went into the presence of the Lord and sat before Him. He wasn’t angry, or frustrated. He was in awe of what the Lord had promised him. He chose to focus on the promise and not the disappointment. David’s vision was so small compared to the Lord’s vision for His life. David realized that God wanted Him to do a much harder thing than build. God wanted David to extend his arm into the next generation and prepare them to build. That would require David being okay with less glory and for David to have the willingness to be humble while preparing the next generation to receive the accolades. David chose to obey. He chose not to press forward with his own vision as he allowed God to have His perfect way.

The Word tells us that even though King David knew he would not be the one to build, he still accumulated all kinds of wealth for the future building. He dedicated time and resources. He gave huge quantities of material and this inspired the people to give as well. He gave knowing he would never see the building of the Temple. He still gave with great generosity even with the knowledge that God had said, “No” to his being the one to build the Temple.

  David chose the hard thing. David chose to invest in the next generation, in the ministry to come. He chose to wait for God’s timing, God’s vision, God’s plan.

I have to ask myself, “When God says, ‘No’ to me, am I still willing to invest in the next generation?” Am I willing to be humble and let the next generation flourish without me? Am I willing to invest with great generosity knowing that the vision God has placed in my heart is not for me to build?”

As my husband and I are transitioning into a new ministry, it’s beyond hard to hear God say, “No” to what we have the vision to build here. But, I still can’t help going into His presence, sitting back on my heels before Him and praising Him for the things that He has allowed to happen in this place. I am in awe of Him and I am realizing that we needed the vision for the building of the Temple, the building of this family of believers, to be able to gather the resources for the next ministry in this place.

I am excited that we were chosen for a fraction of a moment to gather the materials needed for the next phase. I am choosing to invest every second we have left here for the building of the next generation of believers in this Body. As David said, “Who am I that God is mindful of me?”

I am also excited that God’s vision for us personally is so much bigger than what we would have chosen and even though God is saying, “No” to the further building of this ministry, He is saying, “Yes” to something greater. That’s a hard thing to accept it, but I am accepting it. In fact, I am choosing to embrace it. I am in awe of it because our God will never bring us to a place that does not bring Him more glory. Isn’t that our whole goal? To bring Him more glory?

So, what are you going to do when God says, “No” to your vision, or the timing of your vision? Will you willingly gather resources for the next generation, or will you hoard what resources you have been given because it’s not what you wanted?

I pray that we will always be willing to invest in those who come after us. I pray that we will always readily hear His voice and submit to His timing and His perfect ways. I pray that we will always seek Him before we run headlong into a vision that belongs to someone else and I pray that as we kneel together before Him we will always sit back on our heels in constant awe and wonder of who He is.

I love the vision that God has placed on our hearts for this church, but I love His vision more and I am excited to see and hear about the next phase…for all of us.

My Story             Seeking Hearts Ministries

When You Can’t Find Your Voice

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Millfield Singing Praise My Soul  (BBC.co.uk)

When you’re trying to find yourself again, it’s hard to find your voice.

As many of you have probably realized, I’ve been less active on the blog lately. I’ve been feeling guilty about it, but at the same time I just simply haven’t had much to say. As I’ve been struggling in several areas of my life, I’ve just been needing to absorb some things and I’m learning that that’s okay. I’m learning not to panic over it. I will find my voice again. Actually, I will find His voice again and this I know…He is faithful to call. He is the same God yesterday, today and forever and sometimes life needs to slow down so that I can hear Him.

I have to remember that when I really want my kids’ attention, I usually have to whisper. Yelling just doesn’t seem to get their attention like a whisper. When I yell, they continue on with whatever they’re doing because they think they can still hear me, but when I whisper, they stop, they come closer, they lean in and their attention is focused on me. That’s what God’s been doing with me. He’s whispering and as I am pressing in closer, I can hear His sweet voice once again. He has never left me. He is still speaking to me. I just needed to attune myself to His volume. I still have no idea who I am right now, who I’m going to develop into, but I have confidence in the God who does know, my God, the one Who is Faithful and True.

For example…I have no idea who I am without sugar being key in my life (or flour for that matter), but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without two boys at home, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without intense exercise in my life, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without the concentration to have long, intense devotional times with my Savior, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being involved in EVERY single activity at church, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being able to sing for as long and as loud as I want, but my God knows.

My God knows who I am and who He is developing me to be and I trust Him. I. Trust. Him.

As He is teaching me who He wants me to be in this season of my life, I’m starting to hear His whisper once again. I’m finally getting close enough again to hear. I’ve been a little mad and He knows that, but I’ve missed His arms. I’ve missed His voice. I LOVE His voice and now He is telling me that it’s okay if I give 30 minutes (or less) to Him each morning instead of longer. I find myself questioning this. After all, don’t you get closer to Him, don’t you become “better” the more time you devote to Him? I’m learning though that in times of fatigue, when you are simply trusting Him for the next step (literally), He actually likes that just as well. That knowing His presence is strengthening you, the minute-by- minute trusting, He’s really into that. I’m finally starting to rest in that knowledge, that whisper.

I’m also learning that it’s okay if boxes at church for a “good” pastor’s wife go unchecked. That’s a struggle…the wanting to be “the best pastor’s wife ever”. Good grief! Can you hear the pride? I finally can.

I’m learning that it’s okay if I have to lay in bed instead of walk some hills in order to reserve my energy to make supper later that day. I love exercise, but I’m learning that my priority is my family. I need to show it, not just say it.

I’m learning that it’s okay to feel His grace cover me when my concentration simply isn’t there to focus on Bible studies as before.

And, I’m learning that it’s okay to struggle with the want of sugar (and flour), but it’s also okay to know that He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond whatever I could ask or think in the area of my food choices.

I’m also learning that God places people in my path who are there to strengthen and encourage and it’s okay to be vulnerable. They aren’t the usual sources and I am continually amazed, but His kindness through others has been astounding. Most don’t understand and don’t want to know what’s happening and I’m learning that that’s okay; it just makes the ones that do reach out shine like the treasures they are.

So, as I find my voice through Him once again, I pray that you do as well. I pray that if you know exactly who you are in Him today that you will shout it to the rooftops, but I pray that if you are struggling to find yourself, you will press in closer to Him. He has not forgotten you. He has you in the palm of His hand. He is Your Resource, Your Hope, Your Future. Hear His magnificent whisper to you today.

Seeking Hearts Ministries          My Story

Training with Chains

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all things for good, broken bones, broken bones rejoice, calling, chains, chains for training, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotions, encouragement, faith, fetters, sovereignty, sovereignty of God, training, trust

Psalm 105:17-19 says, “He [GOD] sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant: Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron: Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him.”

Joseph really went through it, didn’t he? If you are unfamiliar with his story, or just want a refresher, his story begins in Genesis 37 and goes for several chapters, but for now we are going to focus on what David says about him in Psalm 105.

God in His sovereignty knew what it would take to get Joseph to be the man that he needed him to be. God knew it would take many years of chains and servitude, but Joseph didn’t know that. Would Joseph be able to believe God even while in chains? God needed Joseph to be the man He knew he could be. Chains is what it took. Joseph allowed the chains to do their perfect work so that when the time of his word came, he would be ready. The question is, “Will I allow the chains to do their perfect work in me?”

The Psalmist goes on to say that Joseph’s feet were hurt with fetters. I can’t help but think of Psalm 51:8. It says, “…let the bones which Thou hast broken rejoice.” Sometimes, God has to allow our feet to be hurt in order to get us to bow. Otherwise, we will stay standing forever. We convince ourselves that our hearts are humble, but God has called us to our knees. We need to be in the place where if God needs to break every bone of our body in order to get us to be the people we are designed to be, we gladly accept His decision. We need to be able to sow with a view to righteousness (Hosea 10:12) even while in chains.

Oftentimes, God allows chains to hold us back for a time because we need to mature in Him. We need to rest in Him, His timing and His sovereignty. We might feel as if a fetter is an individual, or a church, when in reality God is breaking the bone that is too rigid to bend.

Maybe you feel like God has called you to work with college kids, or the elderly, or any number of things, but nobody seems to “get it”. Instead of trying yet another church, or media blitz, or a friend you are hoping will understand this time, maybe you need to acknowledge that the time of your word has simply not arrived. Maybe this is your time to be still and know that He is God. Maybe this is the time to rest in Him and His timing and truly put to the test if you really believe He is sovereign. Maybe God knows that you needed the hope of the dream, but the journey needs walking through first. Let’s not get frustrated. Let’s get humble. Let’s be the servants we are called to be in the places we are at.

Joseph was faithful wherever he was placed and however he was placed there and God took care of the rest. God took care of his reputation, his position and the timing of it all. God even put so much life in between Joseph and his brothers that when the time came to forgive, there was not a problem, just beautiful restoration.

Don’t we want that? Don’t we want beautiful restoration and redemption to be woven through the entire fabric of our lives? Don’t we want to be remembered as a Joseph and not a Jonah?

Poor Jonah, he did a mighty work, but when I think of him I usually only remember his stubbornness and anger when God saved an entire race of people through his preaching. When I think of Jonah, I usually only remember his lack of compassion. I do not want to be remembered like that.

When I think of Joseph though, I can’t help but remember his forgiveness, his faithfulness and his restoration with a family he thought he had lost forever. When we allow our time in the chains to train us, that’s what God can do. When we allow the bones He has broken to be healed in His ministering hands, that’s what God can do. When we bow to Him when our feet are hurt in the fetters, He makes our feet like hinds’ feet and makes us to walk on our high places (Habakkuk 3:17-19). That’s what our God can do.

So, let’s thank Him for the chains. Let’s thank Him for the broken bones and let’s thank Him that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). Let’s remember today that our chafing in the chains always has a purpose and when God releases us it will be for His glory and for His Kingdom. Let’s rejoice in that today!

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries

Can Perfect Peace be Found?

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Isaiah 26:3-4 says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee: for he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the LORD forever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.”

I love these verses. In fact, if you have ever received a card, or an e-mail from me, most likely these verses were below my name. I don’t know if it’s what I would consider my life verse, but it’s a seasonal verse for sure. After all, how can you resist the only formula known to man for peace that actually works? It’s not only true because it’s the Word of God, but I also know from experience how true it really is.

Think about it. When you are upset about a situation, or something that is on the horizon, or even an emergency that hits, are you more peaceful when you keep replaying the event over and over in your mind, or when you speak the name of Jesus? Are you more peaceful in an emergency room thinking about what all the doctor may choose to do, or when you are focusing on the fact that God is your ultimate Healer?

I was just sitting in a doctor’s office yesterday and let me tell you I was letting my mind run away with me. What if she thinks I’m nuts? What if she takes a biopsy? What if she wants a biopsy and makes me come back? What if she draws my blood? How much will all this cost? Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me to focus on Him. My mind was in such a dither that all I could do was whisper the name of Jesus. Eventually, I was able to go through some ABC’s of who God is… “God, you are amazing. I trust You. God, you are bold. I trust You. God, you are compassionate. I trust You…” I was even able to remember a few Scriptures and say those as well. Which helped me more? You know it! Focusing on the Lord.

Let’s open these verses a little more and see how the Amplified Bible translates them. It says: “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character],
Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].
Trust [confidently] in the Lord forever [He is your fortress, your shield, your banner], for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].”

These verses tell us that not only is perfect peace possible, but constant peace as well! Constant peace! How do we get it? With a steadfast mind. What is a steadfast mind? It says that a steadfast mind is committed and focused on the Lord.

I can be committed to something without being focused on it at all times. I am committed to my husband, but I am not focused on him continually (Sorry, honey.). That’s why we have to commit to date nights, hikes in the woods together and conversations where we are looking each other in the eye without distractions. Our commitment stays strong when we focus on each other.

When we commit ourselves to God, no doubt we are all in, but our focus can shift at times. Life can crowd in on us. So, these verses remind us to not only commit, but focus like a laser beam on who He is. Then, the peace we all crave reigns in our life.

The next part of these verses say, “Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].”

We have peace because we are focused on Him and who He is. When we are focused on Him, we are pressed in to Him as close as we can get. We are trusting and taking refuge in Him and this gives us hope which leads to confidence in what He is going to do in our lives.

Think about a hunter who has been sitting in his deer stand for hours when all of a sudden his target pops over the horizon. Do you think he is looking anywhere but at his target? His confident hope has been focused on this objective all morning. He is laser focused on his commitment to feed his family with this deer. That’s how we need to be with God. We need to remember that He provides for us in every way, so our commitment to Him keeps us focused on who He is. God is our prey and our minds are the gun. And, the strength to stay on target? The Holy Spirit.

So, when I am sitting in the doctor’s office and remember (focus in on the fact) that my God is good and that there is no darkness in Him at all (I John 1:5) I have a confident hope that even if the doctor tells me bad news, God is not a mean God. He is good and has good in it for me. When I am sitting in the doctor’s office and I am remembering that God is my Provider, I start to rehearse what miracles of provision has already taken place and I then look with confident hope at how God will provide for these expenses as well. We are able to confidently hope when our minds are focused on Him. When we have hope, we are strong because He is our strength and His strength is everlasting. It never runs out.

Jesus says in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” He’s left His peace for us to take hold of, so let’s grab it and shine like the stars we are meant to be, (Philippians 2:16).

My Story to Peace

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Does God Create Serial Killers?

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all things for good, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, control, devotional, freewill, freewill of man, God, God creating bad, God's creation, serial killers, sovereignty, sovereignty of God, trust

What a question, “Does God create serial killers?” The short answer is, “No”, but if you believe in the sovereignty of God, the answer must also be, “Yes”. What do I mean? The sovereignty of God says that everything is ultimately under the control of God. It says that nothing is allowed in a believer’s life that is not for their good and anything allowed will always allow them to draw closer to their Creator. When we believe in the sovereignty of God, we acknowledge that there is evil, but we also know that God has evil on a leash.

So, again, the question can be raised, “Does God create serial killers?”

While I do not believe that God creates anyone for a sinful purpose, I also believe that God allows us to choose who we become. It’s that whole freewill thing. Most of us have a love-hate relationship with freewill. We like it when it suits us, but when others make a choice that affects us in a negative way, we wonder why God didn’t stop it.

The free will of man is a complicated thing for me. I like it when I’m making the choices, but when others are…not so much. When someone is going to make a decision that will hurt my family, I catch myself wondering why God allowed it? I can’t see the good immediately, so I assume there is no good. I often think God should step in right before something terrible happens to my family, or friends. Do you admit being the same way?

If we really had control over freewill, would it be better utilized? If we could stop and start it, what would we do? When would we rein freewill in? Would it be before someone was born who would make a poor decision? Would you choose to simply not let them be born? What about their parents? Didn’t their parents have something to do with an innocent child growing up to become a serial killer, or a rapist, or a suicide bomber? So, would you not allow the parents to be born as well? What about the grandparents of a serial killer? Didn’t they have some part in rearing a set of parents that would then rear a serial killer? Do you see the cycle? Where would it end?

If we stopped allowing children to be born who would make wrong choices, what would be considered acceptable? If you were going to be a rapist, a serial killer, or a gang banger you’re out? What about a drunk driver, or a drug dealer? What about a gossip, or a thief? Again, I ask, “When would it end?”

Why doesn’t God just stop someone from being born who will make a decision that will hurt others, especially someone who will become a serial killer? Did God not realize they would make that decision? Was He surprised? Of course He wasn’t surprised, so why did He create them? Why were they allowed to be born if He knew they would choose to kill others?

I don’t even pretend to have all the answers to these questions, but this I know, my God is sovereign and He is a good God who has my back. Does that mean I will always like what comes my way? No, but it does mean that I can rest in Him knowing that He is working to produce good in everything that He allows in my life. I may not see it, but I trust that it is there. Romans 8:28 assures me that my trust is not wasted.

After all, who is to say what one life given in sacrifice at the altar of a serial killer wouldn’t end with hundreds coming to receive Christ if it gave the family a platform to proclaim the forgiveness of Christ? Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us that God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Can this hold true even in the face of evil? Of course it can and it does.

I think it’s good to think and ask questions that can sometimes shake our faith if we aren’t careful. When the hard stuff comes up, we sometimes sweep it under the rug and choose to think about it “tomorrow”, but tomorrow never comes and then that rug gets swept out from under us when crisis hits. Let’s remember that God can handle our questions. Let’s ask Him to teach us even the hard things. Let’s ask Him to blow our minds with the wonder of who He is so that our faith can grow stronger and not weaker in the face of adversity.

So, now I’ll ask you. Why do you think God allows serial killers to be born? Maybe you don’t even think He has control over any of it, or just part of it. Let me know what you think, so we can learn together.

As I end my musings of this crazy question, I want to leave you with a few things I know for sure: One, God’s ways are not my ways and His thoughts are so much greater than my thoughts. Two, I am so glad I am not God. I would make a mess of it. Three, my God is sovereign and I trust Him. And four, I am safe in the arms of my Savior.

I am so glad our God is always willing for us to ask Him the hard questions. He is the best Teacher of all. Let’s praise Him today!

My Story

Seeking Hearts Ministries

 

Marriage

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all things for good, anniversaries, anniversary, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, encouragement, exhaustion, family, forgiveness, grace, marriage, past mistakes, prayer, sticking with it, stuffing, temptations, tenacity, worth it

On Saturday, my husband and I will be celebrating our 23^rd year of marriage. Crazy! I can’t help but think of Matthew 19:26, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I love that our anniversary hits on Saturday this year because I can remember the weekend as it really was. Memories of the rehearsal on Friday and actual wedding day on Saturday seem easier to recall when the memories coincide with the actual day. I was eighteen and he had just turned twenty-one. We were so young and yes, very dumb. I’m sure many thought that I was making a mistake, but God knew who my man was behind the mullet and farm boy mentality. God also knew that I needed to see grace in action and He knew that my man was the only one who could be that for me. That’s my man through and through…grace.

Have we gone through rough patches? Oh, yes, horrible patches filled with briars and weeds (many of which we planted ourselves). The only explanation there is for this anniversary is God Himself. He is a true Miracle Worker. You think I’m exaggerating? I’m not and you are just going to have to take my word for it. We have both made incredible mistakes and have come very close to others. We get the statement “but for the grace of God go I” to the fiber of our being. I have no idea how our marriage has kept going except to say that God simply wouldn’t let us stop. I love Him for that.

I always tell people to watch out for year five. It’s a doozy. For me personally, the repercussions from our year five still rears its ugly head at times. I buried specifics from year five all the way to year ten. I had heard a therapist on television say that what your spouse doesn’t know, don’t worry about. He said to stop doing it and move on with your marriage, but why hurt them unnecessarily. So, I took it as a word from God and sought His forgiveness, asked a general forgiveness from my guy and buried it all. My man and I knew that we both had done some awful things, but it was a taboo subject. Neither one of us wanted to deal with it.

A few months before out tenth anniversary I went to a Ladies Bible Study at our church. We studied “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things” by Beth Moore. In all honesty, I took the class to see if I could discern who was and wasn’t saved among my family. Yes, I realize how pious that sounds, but it’s the truth. I didn’t take the class as intended, God drug me through that class. I realized very quickly that burying the past was not what God intended. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that what I was hearing was wrong, but it wasn’t.  When I knew God truly was telling me to confess to my guy and ask his forgiveness I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that his heart would be prepared to hear it and forgive. We had two small children at the time and very little money, but wouldn’t you know that God arranged for us to have a private cabin on the water for our anniversary night? I knew this was the moment for confession and God’s grace poured out on us. I had prepared him that I needed to come clean so that he wasn’t blind-sided. I was a nervous wreck, but God’s Spirit was with us. It took several days for things to be fully confessed and worked through and several months of recovery with God healing us bone deep, but I remember that I kept praying that God would not let me close my own wound. I wanted Him to clean out the wounds and keep them open until all the infection was out. I was physically ill from the cleaning at times, but that prayer stayed in the forefront of my mind and He was so faithful. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” and our God is the most faithful Friend of all.

I’ve shared with you a small part of my testimony in our marriage to simply demonstrate that things with us have not been easy. I wanted to share so that when I say what I am about to say you won’t just brush it off as a lucky break with two people who always get along and have no problems, or temptations. What do I want to say? Sticking with your marriage is worth it. My man loves me and I love him more deeply than I ever thought possible. He demonstrates grace often (because I need it often) and that kind of depth only comes with time. It only comes with hard work and above all, it only comes with God Himself chiseling off the hard stuff and molding you into the person He has called you to be. We can fake it with a lot of people, but never our spouse and that’s the way it should be. Pray for love to cover your marriage, pray for your desire to only be for your spouse, touch each other often, tell each other what you appreciate about them, spend time together, pray for tenacity and above all pray for God’s Spirit to take over. Pray and stay, people. It’s worth it!

And, to my man, let me just say that I love you more than life itself and more than I ever dreamed possible. Thank you for being a man of grace, wisdom and stength. I admire who you are so much. Happy Anniversary!

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Rebirth in the Lowlands

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all things for good, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotions, directions, encouragement, exhaustion, family devotions, fruit, hills, lowlands, mountains, paths, trust, valleys

The other day my husband and I were discussing the Biblical account of Zaccheus. You remember, he’s the “wee, little man” who climbed up in the sycamore tree to see Jesus (Luke 19). As we were talking, he told me about a discovery that he had made recently. He said that the name “sycamore” actually meant “rebirth”. So, when Zaccheus chose to climb that sycamore tree, he was actually choosing to be in a place where rebirth could occur. In those first steps to find Jesus, he was trying to draw nigh to God and we know from James 4:8 that when we draw nigh to God, He’ll draw nigh to us. He just can’t help Himself. It’s who He is.

This discussion led me to look up every time the word sycamore was used in the Bible. What I found was so neat! There are eight occurrences in the Bible regarding sycamore trees and almost every single one refers to where they were grown. They were grown in the land of Judah in a place called Shephelah. It just so happens that Shephelah is in the lowlands, actually it is the term used for the whole region of the lowlands. In First Kings 10:27, it says, “The king made silver as common as stones in Jerusalem, and he made cedars as plentiful as sycamore trees that are in the lowland.” Other references to where they are grown are in First Chronicles 27:28, Second Chronicles 1:15, and Second Chronicles 9:27. The fact that sycamores are grown in the lowlands reminded me that rebirth can only happen when we humble ourselves, when we are willing to seek God’s face in meekness and when we are willing be in the lowlands.

I think that Christians and non-christians alike don’t enjoy being in the lowlands of life. We would just rather not be anywhere that is not a mountain top experience. We all like to be riding high on life. The lowlands? No, thank you. We are fine on the mountain. When we do have a lowland experience, we want to run through it quickly, but we want to meander as slowly as possible when we are on the mountain.

In studying the geography of the lowlands I found that “the Shephelah was a zone of low, rolling foothills separating the high, rugged hill country of Judah from the flat, open coastal plain. The heavy runoff from the western slopes of the hill country flows into a series of six broad, shallow valleys furrowed into the soft limestone of the Shephelah, each of which is a focal point of rich, agricultural life. Historically, the Shephelah as a whole, and its six valleys in particular, has been a buffer zone between the hill country and the coast…” The Rose Then and Now Bible Map goes on to say that people in the Shephelah were more rural and conservative than on either side, but “the Shephelah, a true land between was desired by both.”

Even though the Shephelah was in the lowlands, it was desired because of the agriculture, because of the fruit it was capable of bearing. I pray that is how we begin to look at our lowlands, as places of rich fruit. The mountains are beautiful yes, but its climate is not conducive to growing much of anything. Have you ever seen huge fields of wheat, or a massive grove of fruit trees growing on the side of a mountain? Not usually. But, in the lowlands of the Shephelah there is rich agriculture. Everyone wanted the Shephelah region due to the yield that it was capable of producing. We should desire our lowlands as well knowing that in those places God can till and tend and grow fruit that we never dreamed possible.  John 15:8 tells us, “By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.” If fruit is in the lowlands, that’s where we want to be. When we understand the ministry of the lowlands, we find that they are places of replenishment, of rekindling and a place to develop a deeper level of trust in the Lord. The lowlands can be tough, but they are places of rebirth where everything has the possibility of change. The lowlands provide a feeding of our soul that otherwise would be missed if we were only on the mountains.

An amazing example of fruit in the lowlands are the early Christians in the book of Acts. The word fruit, or fruitful, is only mentioned twice, but these words don’t even have the same meaning as the fruit we are after. The book of Acts doesn’t have to say the word fruit for it to be obvious that a massive harvest was being produced. The Christians in the book of Acts were definitely in the lowlands physically speaking. They were being ridiculed, thrown in jail, beaten and even killed for the cause of Christ, but the fruit they bore was remarkable. In fact, their lowland experience is still bearing fruit today. They took advantage of it and put it to work for the Kingdom of God. Let’s be willing to do the same.

Psalm 25:10 says, “All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth to those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.” Let’s take God at His Word and be thankful for every path that He leads us to. Let’s not run through our lowlands as quickly as possible, but absorb every moment, every lesson and every opportunity to bear fruit. Before you know it we will be headed to the mountain once again with a bag full of fruit, shallowness of soul gone forever and a richer trust in the Lord than we ever thought possible. So, let’s be thankful for the lowands!

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Lessons in the Blackberry Patch (Part One)

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all things for good, bearing fruit, burdens, calling, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotions, encouragement, encouragment, exhaustion, faith, focus, fruit, much fruit, perspective, tasks, weary in well doing, work in the fields, worth it

My family has recently found a wild blackberry patch growing in the field behind our home. So, my youngest and I go out about every third day and pick all the blackberries that we can find. Let me tell you, we need jeans and bug spray and heavy shoes, but it is awesome to be able to pick blackberries that we never planted, haven’t been sprayed with pesticides and would cost quite a bit of money at Whole Foods, or Trader Joe’s. It’s some kind of amazing to pick bounty for your belly straight from God Himself.

As we were picking berries this morning, I happened to drop one. I bent to pick it up and ended up on my knees. I looked up and lo and behold there were more beautiful, ripe blackberries in spots I never dreamed. I was amazed that I hadn’t seen them before. If I had still been standing, I would have never realized that they were there! I recognized in that moment that I just needed the right perspective to see all the fruit. I needed to be on my knees, looking up.

Over the years, verses like Matthew 12:33 and John 15:5 and 8 have frustrated me. They say things like, “He who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit.” “By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.” “…for the tree is known by its fruits.” Frustrating stuff because I know I’m a disciple of Christ. I think I’m abiding. I think I want God to receive glory, but where’s the fruit?

As I was kneeling on the ground this morning, I realized the fruit is there. When I am abiding in Christ, when His Spirit has invaded every part of me at my request and when I am seeking His face with every fiber of my being, the fruit is there. I just need the right perspective and the right perspective is not getting distracted with the overgrowth, the thorns, or what fruit is in someone else’s bowl. The right perspective is acquired when I am on my knees, looking up at my Savior. Then, I am able to see the fruit that He has allowed in my life.

Second Thessalonians 3:13 says, “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.” When we don’t readily see the fruit in a situation, we can grow weary. Our tasks become harder when we don’t see results. But, by having the right perspective, we are in a position to better see His fruit in our life. When we are on our knees looking to Him, the thorns aren’t so tangled and the nettles aren’t invading our senses quite so much. We can actually see the fruit and be encouraged.

So, let’s get on our knees each day. Let’s look up and ask God to show us the fruit that He has allowed to grow in our lives. Has that teenager in your life decided that they won’t immediately leave when you enter the room? Will the neighbors let you prayer for them now? Has your spouse decided to give your marriage one more try? Has your youngest quit complaining about going to church? There is fruit. We just need to kneel down to see it.

We also need to remember that when we get to our heavenly home, we will have the best perspective of all. As we are on our knees before our Father, I have no doubt that He will pull away the branches, the thorns and the weeds that were as big as we were in this life, lift our precious faces and say, “Look at all this fruit, sweet one. Look what you allowed Me to grow in your life.” And as we look up with His gentle prodding, I believe our jaws will drop. I believe that our faces will light up and we will be amazed at all the fruit that grew in our lives without our even knowing about it. We will be assured that every task was worth it. Every opportunity did bear fruit. We just needed the right perspective. We needed His.