When You Can’t Find Your Voice

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all things for good, battles, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, control, deep concerns, deep questions for the believer, devotions, encouragement, exhaustion, faith, faithfulness, finding your calling, finding your voice, finding yourself, God, God can so why won't He, health issues, hope, Jesus, mid-life crisis, struggle, struggle in the trusting, trust, why

Millfield Singing Praise My Soul  (BBC.co.uk)

When you’re trying to find yourself again, it’s hard to find your voice.

As many of you have probably realized, I’ve been less active on the blog lately. I’ve been feeling guilty about it, but at the same time I just simply haven’t had much to say. As I’ve been struggling in several areas of my life, I’ve just been needing to absorb some things and I’m learning that that’s okay. I’m learning not to panic over it. I will find my voice again. Actually, I will find His voice again and this I know…He is faithful to call. He is the same God yesterday, today and forever and sometimes life needs to slow down so that I can hear Him.

I have to remember that when I really want my kids’ attention, I usually have to whisper. Yelling just doesn’t seem to get their attention like a whisper. When I yell, they continue on with whatever they’re doing because they think they can still hear me, but when I whisper, they stop, they come closer, they lean in and their attention is focused on me. That’s what God’s been doing with me. He’s whispering and as I am pressing in closer, I can hear His sweet voice once again. He has never left me. He is still speaking to me. I just needed to attune myself to His volume. I still have no idea who I am right now, who I’m going to develop into, but I have confidence in the God who does know, my God, the one Who is Faithful and True.

For example…I have no idea who I am without sugar being key in my life (or flour for that matter), but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without two boys at home, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without intense exercise in my life, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without the concentration to have long, intense devotional times with my Savior, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being involved in EVERY single activity at church, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being able to sing for as long and as loud as I want, but my God knows.

My God knows who I am and who He is developing me to be and I trust Him. I. Trust. Him.

As He is teaching me who He wants me to be in this season of my life, I’m starting to hear His whisper once again. I’m finally getting close enough again to hear. I’ve been a little mad and He knows that, but I’ve missed His arms. I’ve missed His voice. I LOVE His voice and now He is telling me that it’s okay if I give 30 minutes (or less) to Him each morning instead of longer. I find myself questioning this. After all, don’t you get closer to Him, don’t you become “better” the more time you devote to Him? I’m learning though that in times of fatigue, when you are simply trusting Him for the next step (literally), He actually likes that just as well. That knowing His presence is strengthening you, the minute-by- minute trusting, He’s really into that. I’m finally starting to rest in that knowledge, that whisper.

I’m also learning that it’s okay if boxes at church for a “good” pastor’s wife go unchecked. That’s a struggle…the wanting to be “the best pastor’s wife ever”. Good grief! Can you hear the pride? I finally can.

I’m learning that it’s okay if I have to lay in bed instead of walk some hills in order to reserve my energy to make supper later that day. I love exercise, but I’m learning that my priority is my family. I need to show it, not just say it.

I’m learning that it’s okay to feel His grace cover me when my concentration simply isn’t there to focus on Bible studies as before.

And, I’m learning that it’s okay to struggle with the want of sugar (and flour), but it’s also okay to know that He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond whatever I could ask or think in the area of my food choices.

I’m also learning that God places people in my path who are there to strengthen and encourage and it’s okay to be vulnerable. They aren’t the usual sources and I am continually amazed, but His kindness through others has been astounding. Most don’t understand and don’t want to know what’s happening and I’m learning that that’s okay; it just makes the ones that do reach out shine like the treasures they are.

So, as I find my voice through Him once again, I pray that you do as well. I pray that if you know exactly who you are in Him today that you will shout it to the rooftops, but I pray that if you are struggling to find yourself, you will press in closer to Him. He has not forgotten you. He has you in the palm of His hand. He is Your Resource, Your Hope, Your Future. Hear His magnificent whisper to you today.

Seeking Hearts Ministries          My Story

It Might be a Sausage!

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a good laugh, assuming, assumptions, calling, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotional, devotions, encouragement, expectations, family devotions, fixing our eyes, focus, gifts, God, God's plan, jealousies, Jesus, laughs with a lesson, perspective, perspective on spiritual gifts, spiritual gifts, trust

      For those of you who know my family well, you will not be surprised by the fact that as I was searching through my freezer last week I came across a bag of, well, let’s say, “unique, unlabeled weirdness”. My youngest son and I could not imagine what these items were, so we finally settled on the notion that they must be sausages. After all, they were gray, oblong, individually wrapped with care, no label anywhere, so (we decided) it must be my husband’s doing. If my husband cared enough to save it, that means it had to be meat. So, we deduced that these weird items must be sausages. I somehow recalled that my sweet man had come home with some kind of leftovers after a men’s meeting one night, so my son and I determined…this must be it. These sausages looked gross to us, but I knew my husband would be extremely excited. After all, how many times do you open a freezer and have sausages that you had forgotten were even there?

A few hours passed and my husband came home for lunch. I, of course, asked him about these sausages. He examined them and became quite excited (as perdicted). He couldn’t remember any sausages, but wow! He was not going to let that stop him from the enjoyment. He proceeded to take one to his office to microwave for a snack later. Let me tell you there was a bounce in his step as he went on his way!

I received a text just a few, short minutes later (his office is quite close) that read, “NOT sausages (frowny face) frozen bananas.” Yes, you read correctly, the offending “sausages” that had not been labeled were actually my cherished, frozen bananas. At one time I had big plans for these bananas, but alas… I forgot about them and now they just looked like a bunch of sausage.

My husband was sorely disappointed, but I was left laughing my head off and then, well, I was convicted. It made me think about how many times I have mislabeled things in my life. I have often looked at a gift from God and labeled it as a “sausage” when in reality it was a beautiful banana. I have often taken the talents that God has instilled in me and refused to look at them as He desires. I view them as worthless and meant for someone else when in reality it is my heart’s desire with a different look than I expected. I have often looked at my gifts as an offense when God sees the beautiful plan He has designed for just that ability.

I was also convicted because I have often caught myself looking at other people’s “bananas” with longing, but labeling my own gift as a sausage. I see their talents as beautiful, yellow, perfectly ripe bananas, but look at my own as a grayish, unappealing, unrecognizable concoction. I need to be reminded that I Corinthians 12:4 – 6 says, “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons.” These verses tell me that no matter the gifts, we all have the same Lord. That’s what matters, our God. He is the One that sees us through, not our gifts.

Remembering this makes me unconcerned about someone else’s gift and not ashamed of my own because I know God is my God just as He is their God. My face is continually looking to Him and when His hand moves, or His voice speaks. I am enthralled because He is my all in all. I don’t see bananas, or sausages because my eyes are filled with Him. The psalmist says in Psalm 27:8, “When Thou didst say, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to Thee, ‘Thy face, O LORD, I shall seek.’” That needs to be us. That needs to be our focus…God alone; not whether or not our gifts look the same as someone else’s.

I was convicted in another way when I began to think about how often I have labeled experiences that God has given me as “sausages”. In reality, these experiences were in God’s plan to nourish me and to make me become a healthier person, spiritually speaking. Sometimes, I have taken God’s beautiful banana and frozen it with my bitterness so that it turned into something gray, gross and distorted. Instead of remembering that “His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts” as Isaiah 55:8 says, I deemed His ways as hurtful, unhealthy and not for my good. In reality though, He was molding me and shaping me into His beautiful likeness.

Hebrews 12:1 tells us to “…lay aside every encumbrance [think sausage] and the sin which so easily entangles us [think comparisons] and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…” This verse tells us clearly to lay everything down, get on with our Christian race and fix our eyes on Jesus. He’s at the finish line and He’s with us every step of the way.

When are eyes are fixed on Jesus, whether He chooses our gifts to be sausages, or bananas we are thankful because we know He can be trusted. If He chooses our talents to be meaty, or a little fruity, it’s okay because we are not fixated on the gift, we are fixated on Him.

Let’s encourage each other today to re-examine the labels that we have place on things in our lives. Let’s re-examine the labels we have place on ourselves, our talents and our experiences. What you have deemed a “sausage” might be a banana after all. It might be the very thing that God has bestowed on you to reach this generation. So, fix your eyes on Jesus, unthaw your gift and finish your race.

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries

From Strength to Strength

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Christian encouragement, christian walk, Christianity, devotional, encouragement, exhaustion, faith, family devotions, puddle jumping, streams in the desert, strength in the valley, strength to strength

 Image by Mind42.com

As some of you know, I’ve been under the weather lately (actually under a thunderstorm) and so today I thought I’d change it up and simply share some quotes that I’ve come across lately. The Word tells us in Psalm 84:5-7, “Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; In whose heart are the highways to Zion. Passing through the valley of Weeping they make it a place of springs; Yea, the early rain covereth it with blessings. They go from strength to strength; Every one of them appeareth before God in Zion.” That’s where I’m at right now…going from strength to strength, trying to drink from springs in the valley, so I thought I would share some of those “puddles” of power with you.

“ ‘Where would we be if God had not spoken? Where would we be if God had kept silent?’ Often I think about this quote because the truth of God’s Word has literally changed, redefined, and redirected my life. What I believe about God and how I respond to His voice affects every dimension of how I live; how I handle money, the way I speak about others, how I behave sexually, where I choose to spend my free time, what I watch and listen to, who I deeply befriend, and so forth. God’s Word is not meant to create elitists or legalistic living but to be the breath of our lives.” – Kelly Minter

Isaiah 40:29 – “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10, “Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” – The Hebrew word for strength is moaz, and it means “refuge, stronghold, fortress, place of protection…helmet.” So, in essence, the joy of the LORD wasn’t so much their physical might but their safe haven. The joy of the LORD offered them covering from the harsh winds of reality, and especially in their case it gave them protection against the consequences of falling short of the Law. This was a day to remember God’s magnificent grace in their lives. – Kelly Minter

A thought after reading John 20:11-18 – We can never beat our Lord to morning, especially our Resurrection morning. He is there already, waiting for us to come broken before Him.

Deuteronomy 8:7-10, “For the LORD thy God bringeth thee into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills; A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey; A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt not lack any thing in it; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou mayest dig brass. When thou hast eaten and art full, then thou shalt bless the LORD thy God for the good land which he hath given thee.” The NAS says, “is bringing you into a good land” present tense…it’s happening now. So, even if I can’t see the good land yet, I can trust that God is working on my behalf in this very moment to bring me into a good place.

Let Him lead thee blindfold onwards, Love needs not to know; Children whom the Father leadeth Ask not where they go. – Gerhard Tersteegen

Hope you didn’t mind being a puddle jumper with me today. Prayerfully, things will get back on track soon. Have a great week!

 Seeking Hearts Ministries         My Story