When God Doesn’t do what you Thought He Would

Tags

am I too bad to love, burdens, does god ever fail, does God have a dark side, does God love me, god has no dark side, god never fails, God's love, God's truth, is god moody, never failing God, our god is good, struggling with God, trust, truth, when you struggle with trust, why does God let bad things happen, why doesn't god fix this, why wont god help me

I’ve said for some time now that there is a certain crisis of faith that comes to every human when deciding whether they believe God can do what He says He can do. Can He really save me? Can He really heal? Can He really drop manna from the sky? And then, there is the crisis of faith that comes when you know without a doubt that God can move mountains, but He’s just not doing it for you. I mean, what is more frustrating than knowing that someone, anyone, can help, they’re just choosing not to? When that happens, a whole new crisis of faith occurs. Your mountain is looming large and you know your God can move it, but He’s choosing not to and you are left floundering with questions. Is my God really good? Can my God really be trusted? Does He really have a plan for my good? Do I really matter to Him?

I’m not going to pretend to know all the answers to why God is allowing certain things in your life. I’m not even going to pretend to know why He is allowing certain things in my life. I’m not going to pretend to have the answers as to why God would allow children to have cancer, rapists to go free, or even why food can’t be put on every table this week? But, I can tell you (and me) what to focus on when God doesn’t do what we want Him to do.

Let me start by assuring you that you do indeed have a good God. You have a God who does choose to move mountains for you. You have a God who wants you to look like Him and act like Him and love Him as He loves you. You have a never failing, never ceasing, never forsaking God who has a detailed plan for you since before the first molecule was on this earth. Know that because it’s true.

Lamentations 3:17-26 says, “My soul has been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is. Then I thought: My future is lost, as well as my hope from the LORD. Remember my affliction and my homelessness, the wormwood and the poison. I continually remember them and have become depressed. Yet I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him. The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for deliverance from the LORD.” Verses 31-33 go on to say, “For the Lord will not reject us forever. Even if He causes suffering, He will show compassion according to His abundant, faithful love. For He does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering on mankind.”

This passage is so great. We get to see the struggle that Jeremiah had with what was happening all around him and to him. He couldn’t understand it and he became depressed. He even admits in this passage that he lost his hope in the Lord. Then, he decided to remember who His God is. He decided to think about God’s faithfulness, His love and His mercies. He decided that The Lord was his portion for this life and his hope. He decided to rest in God knowing that His God would come through. God’s deliverance obviously wouldn’t look like Jeremiah thought it would. It obviously wouldn’t come at the time that Jeremiah thought that it should, but Jeremiah decided to look up, remember His God and trust. That’s the kind of faith I want, don’t you?

First John 1:5 tells us, “Now this is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light, and there is absolutely no darkness in Him.” You can trust that. Our God has no ulterior motives. He has no dark side. He is good. He is holy. He is true and He. Is. In. Love. With. You.

Song of Solomon 7:10 says, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” God’s desire is toward you. God wants to be with you. He wants to be so melded with you that all people see is Him being uniquely displayed through your personality, your giftings and your sweet face. He has fashioned you for such a time as this and will not stop pursuing you until every fiber of your being is His. He is obsessed with you. Hebrews 13:5 says He will never leave us and Zephaniah 3:17 says He sings over us.  That is not a God who fails. That is a God who loves. Believe that today. Know it with every fiber of your being. If you have to be like the father in Mark 9:24 who said, “I do believe!” and then, quickly added, “Help my unbelief,” so be it, but keep pressing in to your God. He can be trusted. He will come through. He will strengthen you for the task and He is worthy of every fragment of faith you place in Him. He has you, precious one. He has you. Rest in that today.

Seeking Hearts Ministries          My Story

A Needed Reminder

Tags

control, controlling worry, details, faith, good start for the week, good start to your day, good thoughts, making great decisions, mission trips, quick devotion, resting in God, short thought, sleepless night, trust, trusting God with the details, vision, worry

I Thessalonians 5:24 says, “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”

I really need this reminder today.

My guy is a visionary. He gets an idea, knows a certain path and that’s it…he’s ready to take the plunge.

I, on the other hand, am a detail girl.

I love the big ideas, but my mind automatically goes to the how.

If we are my moving, I remember every detail that needs to happen to get us there.

If we are remodeling a space, even though I am not a construction person, I seem to be the one to remember to buy the nails.

If we are going on a mission trip, I think of every little detail…over and over again.

That’s what kept me from sleeping some last night…a mission trip we are going on this summer. Details, details, details. Even though details are good, they can also drive me insane.

During my mental list making in the night, the Holy Spirit reminded me of I Thessalonians 5:24. He reminded me that I am called to go and He will accomplish what is supposed to be accomplished. Yes, I need to remember to bring my toothpaste, but He will take care of the details of loving on the people, teaching what needs to be taught, the team’s health and so much more because “Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.”

Rest in that this week. Write your lists and use the gift of details that God has given you, but then set the pen aside and trust Him to accomplish the call on your life. Depend on Him for every detail knowing that He is always faithful.

Seeking Hearts Ministries

My Story

 

Can God be Trusted?

Tags

can God be trusted, Can I trust God, circumstances, daily trust, do I really trust God, God can be trusted, God never lets go, how to keep trusting God when things seem hopeless, how to trust God, how to trust God fully, is trusting God worth it, keep trusting God, knowing God can be trusted, seeing beyond the now, trust, trust in God, trusting God, trusting God with our children, trusting God with your anguish, truth, who can I trust, why God can be trusted

 

Do you ever wonder if God can really be trusted? Do you ever wonder if trusting God is worth it? Do doubts about His love for you creep in when the lights are off and the house is quiet?

This session discusses many obstacles we face when learning to trust God and answers some questions like, “Does God want our questions?” “Does God get mad when we doubt Him?” and “Does God deserve to be trusted?”

I love this session because we see how people in the Bible dealt with their trust issues and how those examples can teach us how to deal with our own doubts.

This is the last session I will link to the blog (as far as I know), so if you want to be notified of other videos in the future you will need to subscribe to the YouTube channel. When you watch a session, there is a subscribe button right below the video.

Praying you all have a weekend filled with joy!

YouTube – Can God be Trusted?

 

Choosing to Open the Gate

Tags

Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, closed off places, dark places, devotions, doors, emotional healing, gates, God's healing, healing, nourishment, opening up, secret places, spiritual healing, trust, unhealed, untouchable areas, vulnerable spots

Psalm 24:7-9 says, “Lift up your heads, O gates, and be lifted up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in! Who is the King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O gates, and lift them up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in! Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, He is the King of glory. Selah.”

Gates and doors can be great things. They allow us to protect items we hold valuable, make us feel safe when locked at night and can create a sense of privacy, but they also can make us isolated and alone. If we never allow anyone to enter our own private sanctuaries, how can we love on people and be loved? How can we have a sense of family with friends and neighbors if our doors are always shut? Protection is one thing, but isolation is quite another. Psalm 24 encourages us to open our doors not so more people can let us down, but so our strong King of glory can come in.

I remember Anne Graham Lotz saying that our God is a gentleman and He simply won’t come where He’s not invited. So, even though I may think I want Him to burst through my walls and barriers, it’s actually up to me to open my gate and invite Him into my dark places. To me, that’s what the psalmist is talking about. I don’t think he’s writing about boundaries we have placed to keep ourselves and our families safe. He’s talking about our secret places of devastation and loss, the places we have closed off from healing. These verses encourage us to break our secret doors open and allow the true Healer to enter and fight for us.

Why were cities sieged in days of old? Why did armies sit around for weeks at a time not allowing people to enter, or exit a walled habitation? It was to starve them out. It was a horrible practice, but it worked. We need to realize that just as closed off cities created physical starvation, our hidden places create starving places in our spiritual lives. When we are not receiving nourishment from the God who created us, we are starving whether we realize it, or not. We are wandering around our walled cities grasping at anything to make us feel nourished when the only true nourishment can be found in Jesus.

So, let’s start by asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us any gates that we have slammed shut. Let’s ask Him to help us open those gates to Him. Let’s open our dark places, our places where we have allowed none to enter, and ask the King of glory to come in. Let me assure you, He will.

You want a white knight? He’s it.

You want a Healer of all hurts? He’s your guy.

You want Living water instead of fake refreshment that leaves you thirstier than ever? That’s our God. That’s our Savior. That’s our King of glory. Let Him in today.

Seeking Hearts Ministries                   My Story

When Faces Change

Tags

anger, battles, christian journey, christian walk, disunity, faces, focus, freedom, others opinion, people's opinion, strife, trust

 

In chapter three of the book of Daniel, we find the famous story of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and the fiery furnace. We read how a decree was made in Babylon which said when music was heard from the palace orchestra everyone was to bow down and worship the idol that represented the king. Everyone did just that, except for Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They would not bow to the king’s idol and were brought before him for punishment.

In verse thirteen of Daniel three, we read that King Nebuchadnezzar was in a furious rage when he heard they would not bow, but when they arrived he gave them another chance. After all, he was a reasonable man. Verses fifteen and sixteen tell us that the orchestra was all ready to play so Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego could fulfill the law and bow to the idol, but the three still refused. In fact, they answered with an incredible amount of faith. They said, “Nebuchadnezzar … if the God we serve exists, then He can rescue us from the furnace of the blazing fire, and He can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But even if he does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”

Daniel 3:19 says, “Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with rage, and the expression of his face changed towards Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego…” Hmmm… “The expression of his face changed”.

Unfortunately, I think many of us have experienced something like this in our lives. The expression of someone’s face towards us used to be favorable, but now it has changed. Sometimes, the reason is obvious. Sometimes, not so obvious and we are left wracking our brain trying to think of what we have done or, what could have warranted the new expression, but we are drawing a blank. We want the relationship to return to the previous favor, but it is not happening. So, what should we do when someone’s face changes towards us?

Before anything, we need to see if reconciliation is possible. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.” If you know the situation can be rectified, do it. If you are confused as to why their face has changed toward you, see if they are open to telling you what has changed. Sometimes, a simple misunderstanding can be rectified by open communication.

There are times though, when God has called you to take a stand and people simply will not comprehend it. They will not understand and it will cause them to look at you differently. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego faced such a situation. There was no way they could agree with what King Nebuchadnezzar required of them. Their God was the one, true God and required monotheistic worship. They simply could not worship any other god and stay in right standing with their Creator. They could not straddle the fence. A stand had to be made. The result? The king’s face changed towards them.

When our beliefs go against the grain of our culture, oftentimes we find people’s faces changing toward us. When we stand up against homosexuality, pornography, promiscuity, gossiping or grieving the Holy Spirit, some people simply do not understand why we are so “straight laced”. Their faces change toward us. Do we like it? No. Do we invite it? No. We simply cannot straddle the fence any longer. We must keep standing and grow deeper in our walk with Christ. We must remember First Peter 3:10-12. It says, “For the one who wants to love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and he must turn away from evil and do what is good. He must seek peace and pursue it, because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are open to their request. But the face of the Lord is against those who do what is evil.”

We obviously would rather have a human’s face turned against us than our God’s. We must pursue what is right before His eyes above all else. Many human faces may change toward us, but we must be focused on the face of our Lord.

For those of you familiar with what happens to Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, you remember that they were not killed in the fiery furnace and that they, in fact, regained the favor of King Nebuchadnezzar. How did things turn around so quickly?

Daniel 3: 24-26 tells us. “Then King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm. He said to his advisors, ‘Didn’t we throw three men, bound, into the fire?’

‘Yes, of course, Your Majesty,’ they replied to the king.

He exclaimed, ‘Look! I see four men, not tied, walking around in the fire unharmed; and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.’”

This chapter goes on to tell us that King Nebuchadnezzar demanded that they come out of the furnace and declared that no one should say anything against Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego’s God. Verse 30 tells us that the King then rewarded the three and they became strong leaders once again in Babylon.

What a turnaround! What in the world happened?! How did the face of the king go from being against them to being for them? The answer is simple. He saw their close walk with God. He saw that God was with them and they were safe in His presence. He saw that his fury did not matter. What mattered was their God. His focus turned from the three to their God.

When someone’s face changes towards us, we need to use it as a time to press in closer to Jesus. When someone is so focused on us, we need to be so close to Jesus that when they see us, they cannot help but see Christ as well. We need to be willing to be where He is, even if it means going into a blazing furnace, so that others can see Him.

Oftentimes, I want to run around and try to fix things, try to make people like me again, when in reality, if I simply draw closer to Jesus He will take care of it. He will draw people to where they need to be. He will draw them in to see that we are walking free with Him in the middle of great adversity. They might rejoice with us and help us out of the fire or, they may choose to not see the “fourth man”, but we are where we need to be. We are in the arms of Jesus. His face toward us is delight. That’s our goal: His face. Psalm 105:4 says, “Search for the Lord and for His strength; seek His face always.” If I am looking at His face, it is much harder to see others’.

Numbers 6:25 says, “May Yahweh bless and protect you; may Yahweh make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; may Yahweh look with favor on you and give you peace.” That’s our goal. That’s our focus. Let’s remember Whose face we want looking at us with favor. Let’s strive to walk with Christ even in the fire. Let’s press in closer to Him so that others may see Him when they are trying to see us.

  O Lord, grant us the blessing of Your face shining on us. When others look at us in contempt instead of friendship, may we press in closer to where You are. Let others see You walking beside us, residing in us and un-fettering every chain as we walk unbound with You. O Lord, may all of our faces be ever turned towards Your grace. You are our only freedom.

Seeking Hearts Ministries         My Story

 

 

 

When God says, “No.”

Tags

all things for good, building, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotions, dreams, encouragement, family devotions, focus, generosity, God, God saying no, God saying yes, God's plan, God's will, hope, investing, investing in the next generation, next generation, passing the torch, trust, vision, vision from God

In Second Samuel 7, we see that King David had it in his heart to build the Lord a temple. David was convicted that his dwelling was in a beautiful house, but His God dwelt in a tent. He got really excited and shared his vision with Nathan, the prophet, who also got excited. As we continue to read though, we see that later that night God told Nathan David wasn’t the one to build the Temple. Solomon, David’s son, would be the one to build the Lord a dwelling place. God did promise that David’s kingdom would be established for ever through the Messiah, but for now David himself was not called to finish the vision for the Temple.

The Word tells us that David went into the presence of the Lord and sat before Him. He wasn’t angry, or frustrated. He was in awe of what the Lord had promised him. He chose to focus on the promise and not the disappointment. David’s vision was so small compared to the Lord’s vision for His life. David realized that God wanted Him to do a much harder thing than build. God wanted David to extend his arm into the next generation and prepare them to build. That would require David being okay with less glory and for David to have the willingness to be humble while preparing the next generation to receive the accolades. David chose to obey. He chose not to press forward with his own vision as he allowed God to have His perfect way.

The Word tells us that even though King David knew he would not be the one to build, he still accumulated all kinds of wealth for the future building. He dedicated time and resources. He gave huge quantities of material and this inspired the people to give as well. He gave knowing he would never see the building of the Temple. He still gave with great generosity even with the knowledge that God had said, “No” to his being the one to build the Temple.

  David chose the hard thing. David chose to invest in the next generation, in the ministry to come. He chose to wait for God’s timing, God’s vision, God’s plan.

I have to ask myself, “When God says, ‘No’ to me, am I still willing to invest in the next generation?” Am I willing to be humble and let the next generation flourish without me? Am I willing to invest with great generosity knowing that the vision God has placed in my heart is not for me to build?”

As my husband and I are transitioning into a new ministry, it’s beyond hard to hear God say, “No” to what we have the vision to build here. But, I still can’t help going into His presence, sitting back on my heels before Him and praising Him for the things that He has allowed to happen in this place. I am in awe of Him and I am realizing that we needed the vision for the building of the Temple, the building of this family of believers, to be able to gather the resources for the next ministry in this place.

I am excited that we were chosen for a fraction of a moment to gather the materials needed for the next phase. I am choosing to invest every second we have left here for the building of the next generation of believers in this Body. As David said, “Who am I that God is mindful of me?”

I am also excited that God’s vision for us personally is so much bigger than what we would have chosen and even though God is saying, “No” to the further building of this ministry, He is saying, “Yes” to something greater. That’s a hard thing to accept it, but I am accepting it. In fact, I am choosing to embrace it. I am in awe of it because our God will never bring us to a place that does not bring Him more glory. Isn’t that our whole goal? To bring Him more glory?

So, what are you going to do when God says, “No” to your vision, or the timing of your vision? Will you willingly gather resources for the next generation, or will you hoard what resources you have been given because it’s not what you wanted?

I pray that we will always be willing to invest in those who come after us. I pray that we will always readily hear His voice and submit to His timing and His perfect ways. I pray that we will always seek Him before we run headlong into a vision that belongs to someone else and I pray that as we kneel together before Him we will always sit back on our heels in constant awe and wonder of who He is.

I love the vision that God has placed on our hearts for this church, but I love His vision more and I am excited to see and hear about the next phase…for all of us.

My Story             Seeking Hearts Ministries

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder

Tags

Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotional, encouragement, faith, family devotions, focus, giving, God, hoarding, hoarding blessings, Jesus, perspective, receiving, trust

This morning as I was eating my grapefruit, things became a little messy. I probably need to explain that I eat my grapefruit like an orange. I peel it and then I go a bit further than most. I continue on and peel the inner skin as well. It only leaves the pulp and all I can say is that it is super yummy. Strange to some of you, and yes, it’s a lot of prep work, but …mmmmm….only grapefruit pulp? Well worth it. As you can imagine though, it gets quite messy at times. (I actually won’t eat citrus in public so my family won’t crawl under the table in embarrassment.)

As I was eating my grapefruit, I had already grabbed two paper towels and thought it would be plenty, but this particular grapefruit was extra juicy. Juice was running everywhere! As that lovely grapefruit goodness was running down my arms, I felt like a sticky mess and I began to argue with myself about getting another paper towel. I thought one more would be excessive. I thought it would not be frugal to grab another. ‘What if I have three paper towels with every grapefruit? Wouldn’t my grocery budget explode?’ I thought. Finally, I got up to get another paper towel in order to finish my grapefruit in comfort. As I took hold of it, I thought, ‘God provided these paper towels. Go ahead and use them. He provided them.’ I realized that He had this paper towel roll sitting on the counter just for me for this very moment. He knew I would need extra and it was already there, but I was so worried about having paper towels for the rest of the month, I refused to use the blessing right in front of me. If my God counts the hairs on my head as Matthew 10:30 says, wouldn’t He care about paper towels that I need?

It made me wonder how many times I save, or even hoard, His blessings in the now because I am afraid He won’t provide for me in the future.  I don’t say that, but that’s how I live.

Jesus prayed to His Father in Matthew 6 to “give us this day our daily bread”. That’s how we are taught to trust. We need to trust Him for daily provision. But, if I have “bread” stored up for weeks, just in case some tragedy happens, who am I really trusting in? Am I trusting in God, or how smart I’ve been to prepare? I do believe in being responsible, but when God tells us to give, we need to give. That’s what I’m learning.

I’m finding that when I refuse to give as God directs, I’m telling Him that I don’t trust Him for my future. If He tells me to give a bag of beans to someone and I refuse because I only have one, not two, I am telling Him that I don’t believe He will give me that bag of beans tomorrow, or whenever I need them. When He tells me to give a certain amount to church and I only give a partial amount, I am showing Him (and myself) that my trust only goes so far. He knows my trust level, but this allows me to see clearly, to see that my faith may not be what I thought it was, or say that it is.

Psalm 65:11 says, “Thou hast crowned the year with Thy bounty, and Thy paths drip with fatness.” If I believe that Christ’s bounty is around every corner of this year, why would I hoard anything? If I know His mercies are new every morning as Lamentations 3:22-23 tells me, why am I hoarding mercy for myself and not extending it to others? Why would I not give that mercy to others today?

Deuteronomy 8:7-10 says, “For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; a land where you shall eat food without scarcity, in which you shall not lack anything; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. When you shall eat and are satisfied, you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you.” If I really believe He is bringing me into a good land, why would I hold anything back that He is asking me to give?

I’m finding that it’s all about leaving my hands open, not just to receive, but to give. Oftentimes I have only had my hands open to receive, but then I would quickly close them after receiving a blessing and hoard it for my family. Now, I am praying to keep my hands open to give as well as receive.

When my hand is laying open to give, I am finding that I am receiving more as well. I suppose it’s common sense, but I had never realized it before. As my hand lays open, I don’t decide whether I’m giving or receiving so now both can actually happen concurrently. As long as my hand is open to give, it is also open to receive and God allows this continuous flow to take place. Am I giving so I will receive? No! I am giving because I trust in His provision. He may choose to replace those beans I wrote about earlier, or He may choose to make me learn to like rice, or broccoli, or turnips. It’s up to Him and I trust Him.

Psalm 27:13 says, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” We are in the land of the living and we will see the goodness of the Lord if we simply open our eyes and I believe, our hands as well.

So, grab a grapefruit today, get three whole paper towels. Eat it like an orange and rest assured that your God will provide. In fact, He is providing for you this very minute. He is designing your future. He is integrating relationships in your life that you never imagined were still possible. He is restoring your health and vitality. He is growing your business. He is crowning your year with goodness. It may be with daily bread, or cups running over, but His sovereign hand has you exactly where you need to be. He is here. What more do you need?

Seeking Hearts Ministries

Lonely?

Spreading it Before the Lord

Tags

anxiety, attacks, battles, burdens, choices, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, encouragement, enemies, family devotions, focus, hope, hurts, laying our burdens down, peace, perspective, trust, walking with God

So, Hezekiah is an interesting figure in the Old Testament. I love parts of his story and I’m not crazy about others…the norm for any human, I suppose. In Isaiah 36 and 37, we see Hezekiah come up against a vicious enemy. This enemy had destroyed many kingdoms and was now after Hezekiah’s. Actually, the enemy was now coming against God’s Kingdom. So, Hezekiah had a choice. He could choose to freak out, or he could lay his issues at the feet of His King. I love that Hezekiah did both.

Isaiah 37:1 says that when Hezekiah heard what his enemy had threatened he tore his clothes and put on sackcloth. He realized the seriousness of the situation and acted accordingly. Then, the Word tells us he went to the house of the Lord. Isaiah 37:14 says, “Then Hezekiah took the letter from the hand of the messengers and read it, and he went up to the house of the Lord and spread it out before the LORD.”

I can’t tell you how much I love this. Hezekiah took all the threats, all the accusations, all the hate and arrogance of his enemy and spread it before the Lord. Then, he prayed. He prayed about everything that was on his heart. He refocused himself by emphasizing God’s power, then he told God about what his enemy had said. He poured it all out knowing that His God was in control.

Can you imagine the fear and anxiety that were running through Hezekiah? Can you imagine all the issues and scenarios running through his mind? After all, he could still smell the sackcloth yet He chose to trust His God.

So, I ask you, what do you need to lay before the Lord? What do you need to spread before His feet? Who has assaulted you? Who do you think is out to get you? Who still stirs up anger when you hear their name? Write their names on some paper. Write every situation down and spread it before your God. Pour it out before Him. Psalm 62:8 tells us that He is a refuge for us and that He wants us to empty our hearts out to Him. Stay before the Lord for as long as it takes and then take every scrap of paper, wad it up, toss it in the trash and accept the peace from your God that only He can give. Feel the anxiety leave, the fear give way and the fresh hope of your Lord consume you.

Only our God can do that for us. Only our God can replace fear with trust and anger with love. Let’s spread all of our anxieties before Him and allow Him to do His perfect work today.

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries

When You Can’t Find Your Voice

Tags

all things for good, battles, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, control, deep concerns, deep questions for the believer, devotions, encouragement, exhaustion, faith, faithfulness, finding your calling, finding your voice, finding yourself, God, God can so why won't He, health issues, hope, Jesus, mid-life crisis, struggle, struggle in the trusting, trust, why

Millfield Singing Praise My Soul  (BBC.co.uk)

When you’re trying to find yourself again, it’s hard to find your voice.

As many of you have probably realized, I’ve been less active on the blog lately. I’ve been feeling guilty about it, but at the same time I just simply haven’t had much to say. As I’ve been struggling in several areas of my life, I’ve just been needing to absorb some things and I’m learning that that’s okay. I’m learning not to panic over it. I will find my voice again. Actually, I will find His voice again and this I know…He is faithful to call. He is the same God yesterday, today and forever and sometimes life needs to slow down so that I can hear Him.

I have to remember that when I really want my kids’ attention, I usually have to whisper. Yelling just doesn’t seem to get their attention like a whisper. When I yell, they continue on with whatever they’re doing because they think they can still hear me, but when I whisper, they stop, they come closer, they lean in and their attention is focused on me. That’s what God’s been doing with me. He’s whispering and as I am pressing in closer, I can hear His sweet voice once again. He has never left me. He is still speaking to me. I just needed to attune myself to His volume. I still have no idea who I am right now, who I’m going to develop into, but I have confidence in the God who does know, my God, the one Who is Faithful and True.

For example…I have no idea who I am without sugar being key in my life (or flour for that matter), but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without two boys at home, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without intense exercise in my life, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without the concentration to have long, intense devotional times with my Savior, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being involved in EVERY single activity at church, but my God knows.

I have no idea who I am without being able to sing for as long and as loud as I want, but my God knows.

My God knows who I am and who He is developing me to be and I trust Him. I. Trust. Him.

As He is teaching me who He wants me to be in this season of my life, I’m starting to hear His whisper once again. I’m finally getting close enough again to hear. I’ve been a little mad and He knows that, but I’ve missed His arms. I’ve missed His voice. I LOVE His voice and now He is telling me that it’s okay if I give 30 minutes (or less) to Him each morning instead of longer. I find myself questioning this. After all, don’t you get closer to Him, don’t you become “better” the more time you devote to Him? I’m learning though that in times of fatigue, when you are simply trusting Him for the next step (literally), He actually likes that just as well. That knowing His presence is strengthening you, the minute-by- minute trusting, He’s really into that. I’m finally starting to rest in that knowledge, that whisper.

I’m also learning that it’s okay if boxes at church for a “good” pastor’s wife go unchecked. That’s a struggle…the wanting to be “the best pastor’s wife ever”. Good grief! Can you hear the pride? I finally can.

I’m learning that it’s okay if I have to lay in bed instead of walk some hills in order to reserve my energy to make supper later that day. I love exercise, but I’m learning that my priority is my family. I need to show it, not just say it.

I’m learning that it’s okay to feel His grace cover me when my concentration simply isn’t there to focus on Bible studies as before.

And, I’m learning that it’s okay to struggle with the want of sugar (and flour), but it’s also okay to know that He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond whatever I could ask or think in the area of my food choices.

I’m also learning that God places people in my path who are there to strengthen and encourage and it’s okay to be vulnerable. They aren’t the usual sources and I am continually amazed, but His kindness through others has been astounding. Most don’t understand and don’t want to know what’s happening and I’m learning that that’s okay; it just makes the ones that do reach out shine like the treasures they are.

So, as I find my voice through Him once again, I pray that you do as well. I pray that if you know exactly who you are in Him today that you will shout it to the rooftops, but I pray that if you are struggling to find yourself, you will press in closer to Him. He has not forgotten you. He has you in the palm of His hand. He is Your Resource, Your Hope, Your Future. Hear His magnificent whisper to you today.

Seeking Hearts Ministries          My Story

It Might be a Sausage!

Tags

a good laugh, assuming, assumptions, calling, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotional, devotions, encouragement, expectations, family devotions, fixing our eyes, focus, gifts, God, God's plan, jealousies, Jesus, laughs with a lesson, perspective, perspective on spiritual gifts, spiritual gifts, trust

      For those of you who know my family well, you will not be surprised by the fact that as I was searching through my freezer last week I came across a bag of, well, let’s say, “unique, unlabeled weirdness”. My youngest son and I could not imagine what these items were, so we finally settled on the notion that they must be sausages. After all, they were gray, oblong, individually wrapped with care, no label anywhere, so (we decided) it must be my husband’s doing. If my husband cared enough to save it, that means it had to be meat. So, we deduced that these weird items must be sausages. I somehow recalled that my sweet man had come home with some kind of leftovers after a men’s meeting one night, so my son and I determined…this must be it. These sausages looked gross to us, but I knew my husband would be extremely excited. After all, how many times do you open a freezer and have sausages that you had forgotten were even there?

A few hours passed and my husband came home for lunch. I, of course, asked him about these sausages. He examined them and became quite excited (as perdicted). He couldn’t remember any sausages, but wow! He was not going to let that stop him from the enjoyment. He proceeded to take one to his office to microwave for a snack later. Let me tell you there was a bounce in his step as he went on his way!

I received a text just a few, short minutes later (his office is quite close) that read, “NOT sausages (frowny face) frozen bananas.” Yes, you read correctly, the offending “sausages” that had not been labeled were actually my cherished, frozen bananas. At one time I had big plans for these bananas, but alas… I forgot about them and now they just looked like a bunch of sausage.

My husband was sorely disappointed, but I was left laughing my head off and then, well, I was convicted. It made me think about how many times I have mislabeled things in my life. I have often looked at a gift from God and labeled it as a “sausage” when in reality it was a beautiful banana. I have often taken the talents that God has instilled in me and refused to look at them as He desires. I view them as worthless and meant for someone else when in reality it is my heart’s desire with a different look than I expected. I have often looked at my gifts as an offense when God sees the beautiful plan He has designed for just that ability.

I was also convicted because I have often caught myself looking at other people’s “bananas” with longing, but labeling my own gift as a sausage. I see their talents as beautiful, yellow, perfectly ripe bananas, but look at my own as a grayish, unappealing, unrecognizable concoction. I need to be reminded that I Corinthians 12:4 – 6 says, “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons.” These verses tell me that no matter the gifts, we all have the same Lord. That’s what matters, our God. He is the One that sees us through, not our gifts.

Remembering this makes me unconcerned about someone else’s gift and not ashamed of my own because I know God is my God just as He is their God. My face is continually looking to Him and when His hand moves, or His voice speaks. I am enthralled because He is my all in all. I don’t see bananas, or sausages because my eyes are filled with Him. The psalmist says in Psalm 27:8, “When Thou didst say, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to Thee, ‘Thy face, O LORD, I shall seek.’” That needs to be us. That needs to be our focus…God alone; not whether or not our gifts look the same as someone else’s.

I was convicted in another way when I began to think about how often I have labeled experiences that God has given me as “sausages”. In reality, these experiences were in God’s plan to nourish me and to make me become a healthier person, spiritually speaking. Sometimes, I have taken God’s beautiful banana and frozen it with my bitterness so that it turned into something gray, gross and distorted. Instead of remembering that “His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts” as Isaiah 55:8 says, I deemed His ways as hurtful, unhealthy and not for my good. In reality though, He was molding me and shaping me into His beautiful likeness.

Hebrews 12:1 tells us to “…lay aside every encumbrance [think sausage] and the sin which so easily entangles us [think comparisons] and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…” This verse tells us clearly to lay everything down, get on with our Christian race and fix our eyes on Jesus. He’s at the finish line and He’s with us every step of the way.

When are eyes are fixed on Jesus, whether He chooses our gifts to be sausages, or bananas we are thankful because we know He can be trusted. If He chooses our talents to be meaty, or a little fruity, it’s okay because we are not fixated on the gift, we are fixated on Him.

Let’s encourage each other today to re-examine the labels that we have place on things in our lives. Let’s re-examine the labels we have place on ourselves, our talents and our experiences. What you have deemed a “sausage” might be a banana after all. It might be the very thing that God has bestowed on you to reach this generation. So, fix your eyes on Jesus, unthaw your gift and finish your race.

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries