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Tag Archives: managing expectations

Lessons in Construction Part 3

12 Friday Aug 2022

Posted by Melissa G in Christian Growth

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christian walk, construction, empty nester, encouragement, expectations, managing expectations, measuring, working with your husband

The last few weeks I’ve been talking about lessons I’m learning while working with my husband. In my last post, I referenced measuring https://tinyurl.com/2tpfmru2 which led me to this week’s contemplation.

When Mark and I were checking and re-checking all of the posts on our first official job together (and many others since then), I discovered that we have to trust the other person’s reading of the tool. Whether it’s a basic level, a measuring tape, or a laser level the person holding the object in place has to trust the other to read the instrument correctly.

That thought led to the understanding that if the person with the knowledge has never shared how to read said instrument, the expectation that the inexperienced person should “just know” how to see things clearly and correctly should not be placed upon them. Can I get a witness?!

Now, just to be clear, Mark and I have not run into this issue with measuring, but we have with other tasks… thoughts for another day…but, while we were setting those posts so many weeks ago I couldn’t help but think along these lines. It led me to ask the question, “Have I taught those coming after me how to read the measuring tape?”

Have I encouraged those around me to read the “level” of God’s Word?

Have I reminded those around me to check and re-check their life with Scripture? Or, have I just expected them to figure it out on their own?

Have I sat back in judgment of someone else’s crooked post, if you will, when I haven’t even given them a measuring tape?

In the past, I have become so angry at adults around me who expected me to “just know” how things were supposed to be done instead of verbally (and by example) showing me the way. I have to ask myself if I have become that same kind of adult.

Titus 2:1-8 says, “But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. In the same way, encourage the young men to be self-controlled  in everything. Make yourself an example of good works with integrity and dignity in your teaching. Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be ashamed, having nothing bad to say about us.”

Does this verse sound like you? Have you been faithful to lead and encourage? Or, do you expect those around you to “just know”?

Lesson Three on the construction site … don’t just expect, teach.

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Am I Treating God Like a Jack-in-a-Box?

09 Tuesday Feb 2021

Posted by Melissa G in Christian Growth

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character, expectations, Fasting, God didn't keep His end of the bargain, God didn't meet my expectations, God's character, managing expectations, prayer, trust, worship

The other day I heard a testimony that hit me to my core.

The visiting pastor at a church where I was also visiting explained how he is sometimes guilty of treating God like a Jack-in-a-Box.

Whoa.

That hit me right between the eyes.

He went on with his sermon, but I stayed right in that moment, right in the question of… “Do I treat God like a Jack-in-a-Box?”

Well, it really wasn’t a question. It was a knowing. I knew immediately that I often do treat God like a Jack-in-a Box.

I pack Him around and set Him in a situation. I wind the handle. Meaning, I pray. I quote Scripture to prove to Him I’m right. I pray some more…and some more…and sometimes a little more, but God doesn’t pop out when I think He should …and I get mad.

So, I change tactics. I try harder. I pray some more. I may even add fasting. I quote Him more Scripture. I use my essential oils. I check every box I can think of…winding, winding, and winding … waiting for God to pop out. Waiting for God to keep His end of a bargain I assume we had made.

The more I wind, the more frustrated I become. The more frantic I grow into being.

The more I wind, the more I expect God to pop out at my request.

The more I wind, the more uptight I become.

1 Kings 18:21-29 describes an amazing account where Elijah has a showdown with Baal worshippers. It’s really worth reading, but what I want you to see now is how the Baal worshippers tried to get Baal’s attention. Here’s what the book of Kings says, “So they took the bull that he gave them, prepared it, and called on the name of Baal from morning until noon, saying, “Baal, answer us!” But there was no sound; no one answered. Then they danced, hobbling around the altar they had made. At noon Elijah mocked them. He said, “Shout loudly, for he’s a god! Maybe he’s thinking it over; maybe he has wandered away; or maybe he’s on the road. Perhaps he’s sleeping and will wake up!” They shouted loudly, and cut themselves with knives and spears, according to their custom, until blood gushed over them. All afternoon they kept on raving until the offering of the evening sacrifice…”

I think this is what I must look like when I am winding the handle on my Jack-in-a Box god. I think I’m right, so I assume I will be able to prove it. I don’t actually cut myself, not on the outside anyway. But, on the inside? On the inside, I torture myself with what-ifs.

What if I had prayed more specifically for my kids as they were growing up? Are the choices they are making now my fault?

What if I had given 5 days a week to church work and not four, would I still have been the subject of gossip?

What if I had tried harder, accomplished more, dug a little deeper… would God have popped up as I expected?

This is what happens when I treat the God of the universe like a Jack-in–a–Box.

I go, go, go instead of being still and knowing that He is God. (Psalm 46:10)

I wind the handle and wind the handle and wind the handle as tears flow wondering how long I can keep this up.

Sounds like I’ve been worshipping an expectation instead of a Savior.

Sounds like I’ve been worshipping a box and not God.

Sounds like I need to breathe and stop winding the handle on the Jack-in-a Box…now.

So…where do I go from here?

How do I stop the obsession with the handle on that stupid contraption that has no place in my life?

First off, I set the box down and remember who God is… who He really is.

Psalm 18 says, “I love You, LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my mountain where I seek refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold… “

Secondly, I quit picking verses out of the Scriptures to suit my own agenda. I read until God places the Word He has for me deep in my soul.

Jeremiah 15:16 says, “Your words were found, and I ate them. Your words became a delight to me and the joy of my heart, for I am called by Your name, Yahweh God of Hosts.”

Third, I quit praying just to get needs met and instead pray simply to be close to Jesus. I pray in order to stay in close connection with my Best Friend. I remember it’s about relationship.

 Fourth, I fast only when I get a direct call from God to do so and not just for financial gain.

I choose to worship instead of wind the box.

I choose to leave the handle alone.

I choose the connection of the Vine (John 15) over the expectation of the pop up.

I’m taking my Jack-in-a Box to Goodwill and leaving it there.

Our God deserves to be worshipped for Who He is and not what we think He should be doing.

Our God deserves complete trust and faith in His plan and the timing of it.

Our God deserves to be adored and loved not accused of not keeping the end of a bargain He never made.

God is not a Jack-in-a Box who comes and goes at the whim of our attentions.

God is God.

He is faithful.

He is true.

He is perfect.

He is love.

He is Savior.

He is Lord.

Let’s worship Him and throw the Jack-in-a-Box in the trash where it belongs.

*image by depositphotos

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