How to Move Forward With no Regrets

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all things for good, can God be trusted, freedom, getting past your past, God's faithfulness, God's plan, how to not let your past control you, how to overcome regrets, Is God faithful, is God trustworthy, living with your past, no regrets, regrets, starting the new year right, the faithfulness of God, things I would change

“I wouldn’t change a thing”. This is what my father-in-law said about his marriage to my mother-in-law after 50 years.

“50 years and you would not change one thing?” I wondered silently, “You wouldn’t change the hardships that I remember you reminiscing about? You wouldn’t change difficulties like miscarriages, financial woes, a Christmas where all your gifts were stolen? You wouldn’t change anything?”

I will admit I was skeptical, at first. I mean, after all, wouldn’t I change some things about my husband and myself’s marriage of 26 years? Wouldn’t I change the struggles that we have faced? Wouldn’t I want a healthier start for us, an easier path? Wouldn’t I change something?  Would I change the struggle that we had that brought our marriage to the brink of extinction back in our fifth year?  Would I change the many moves we have made due to my husband’s call into the ministry? Knowing what I know now, would I really change the ministry struggles that we have faced?

As I pondered this, I began to realize… I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING either! But, it’s only because God is so good at what He does. Romans 8:28 says that He works all things out for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He is so good at this promise that my father-in-law and I can look back over incredible hardships and say with every fiber of our being, “I would not change a thing.” How could we? Wisdom has come from previous unwise choices. A trap we have fallen into keeps us from a greater trap years later. Stronger faith comes from seeing God work through incredible hardships in ministry. Trust in God’s provision and being thankful in all circumstances has resulted from financial crisis. Why would I change any lesson that turned out so great? When I see the goodness of God and realize how trustworthy He is, how could I possibly be filled with regrets? How could the chains of my past hold me in an endless cycle of ‘what if’? God is so good at what He does! He works all things for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. So, I absolutely would not change a thing!

Our ultimate example, of course, is Jesus Christ. The Word of God says in Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” We see here that Jesus trusted His Father to turn all the horrible injustice of the cross into the ultimate good. Did He enjoy the cross? The Bible says clearly He did not; in fact, He despised it. Yet, He submitted to the process because He knew His father was able to and would turn the ultimate place of suffering into the beautiful place of Redemption that we have today. Jesus is now able to look at the cross which He despised and then look at us, redeemed and righteous through Him and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Think over your own life experiences. Maybe it is your marriage, but maybe it’s your job, your family, your health, any area where suffering has occurred. At the starting line we would ALWAYS choose an easier road, but would we now?

Through infertility, an amazing child has been adopted that otherwise would still be in an orphanage. Through bankruptcy, a release of hypocrisy has been born in us and compassion abounds. Through a friend’s betrayal, we now know The Great Physician heals emotional as well as physical pain. Would we really change those lessons?

Only our God can do this for us. Only our God can take unspeakable heartache, unbelievable adversity, and unjustifiable sin and mold it into a life that we can in all honesty look at and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Trust Him with the hard things in your life. Trust that He can mold all the aches into a beautiful testimony. A testimony that at the end of time when it’s just you and Jesus holding hands looking out at the lives you both led on this earth, you can see Him look at His life of suffering and you can look at yours and you both can then look at God the Father and realize what He has done and say, “we wouldn’t change a thing.”

Seeking Hearts Ministries 

*image by YouTube.com

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In Awe

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ackowledging our God, Christianity, focus, God's character, God's faithfulness, God's love, God's plan, our awesome God, our reason for living, praising God, reflections, truth

O Lord, we are in awe of You today. You are majestic in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders and there is none like You.

You are beautiful beyond description and too marvelous for words. You are enthroned on high and You are God alone.

You are Sustainer, our Refuge and any perseverance that we may have. You are our very present help in times of despair and joy. You never leave us, or forsake us and You are the same yesterday, today and forever. You change not and O Lord, we confess we do not wish You to change. You are perfect and glorious, indescribable and all powerful. You are righteous in all Your deeds. Why would we ever want it any other way?

We are not worthy to unlatch Your shoes, yet you choose us to fulfill Your will on this earth. Make us worthy of that call, O God. Yet, in praying that we know that our righteousness will always be as filthy rags. We will always have an agenda, a selfish ambition to seek the praise of others. Not a lot Lord, just a little, when all praise, honor and glory should be Yours alone. Forgive us, Lord. Be our righteousness. Cover us with Your righteousness so all that others see is You.

Help us Lord to give You the praise You deserve. You are awesome. You are true. You are faithful. You are strong. You are glorious. You are all-encompassing. You are love and life and solidarity. You are the only truth and You love us.You are freedom. You are Creator. You are Sustainer. You are boldness. You are delightful. You are energizing. You are God alone and we are in awe of You.

Help us to bring You glory today. Help us to bring You glory tomorrow. Help us to bring You glory for the rest of our days.

Clean our hands Lord so that we may lift them in praise to You. Draw us closer and closer each day so that Your presence is as normal to us as breathing. You are our breath. You are our heartbeat. You are our Lord and we are in awe of You.

You are all wisdom, all knowledge, all power, yet You allow us to abide in You and touch the hem of Your garment. We are in awe of You.

Help us to worship You in spirit and in truth. Help us to know that You are worth more than anything this world can offer. Help us to love You as You alone deserve to be loved. Help us to know to the core of our being that You are the best and no other offer can compare.

Help us to know that we must see the mountain in order to see the miracle and help us to trust You to remove that mountain, or when the mountain is looming ever closer that You have already given us the strength to climb it. You are God and we are in awe of You.

No words can explain You and nothing that anyone can say, or do thwarts Your plan. You are God. We are in awe of You.

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Seeking Hearts Ministries                 My Personal Story

When God says, “No.”

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all things for good, building, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotions, dreams, encouragement, family devotions, focus, generosity, God, God saying no, God saying yes, God's plan, God's will, hope, investing, investing in the next generation, next generation, passing the torch, trust, vision, vision from God

In Second Samuel 7, we see that King David had it in his heart to build the Lord a temple. David was convicted that his dwelling was in a beautiful house, but His God dwelt in a tent. He got really excited and shared his vision with Nathan, the prophet, who also got excited. As we continue to read though, we see that later that night God told Nathan David wasn’t the one to build the Temple. Solomon, David’s son, would be the one to build the Lord a dwelling place. God did promise that David’s kingdom would be established for ever through the Messiah, but for now David himself was not called to finish the vision for the Temple.

The Word tells us that David went into the presence of the Lord and sat before Him. He wasn’t angry, or frustrated. He was in awe of what the Lord had promised him. He chose to focus on the promise and not the disappointment. David’s vision was so small compared to the Lord’s vision for His life. David realized that God wanted Him to do a much harder thing than build. God wanted David to extend his arm into the next generation and prepare them to build. That would require David being okay with less glory and for David to have the willingness to be humble while preparing the next generation to receive the accolades. David chose to obey. He chose not to press forward with his own vision as he allowed God to have His perfect way.

The Word tells us that even though King David knew he would not be the one to build, he still accumulated all kinds of wealth for the future building. He dedicated time and resources. He gave huge quantities of material and this inspired the people to give as well. He gave knowing he would never see the building of the Temple. He still gave with great generosity even with the knowledge that God had said, “No” to his being the one to build the Temple.

  David chose the hard thing. David chose to invest in the next generation, in the ministry to come. He chose to wait for God’s timing, God’s vision, God’s plan.

I have to ask myself, “When God says, ‘No’ to me, am I still willing to invest in the next generation?” Am I willing to be humble and let the next generation flourish without me? Am I willing to invest with great generosity knowing that the vision God has placed in my heart is not for me to build?”

As my husband and I are transitioning into a new ministry, it’s beyond hard to hear God say, “No” to what we have the vision to build here. But, I still can’t help going into His presence, sitting back on my heels before Him and praising Him for the things that He has allowed to happen in this place. I am in awe of Him and I am realizing that we needed the vision for the building of the Temple, the building of this family of believers, to be able to gather the resources for the next ministry in this place.

I am excited that we were chosen for a fraction of a moment to gather the materials needed for the next phase. I am choosing to invest every second we have left here for the building of the next generation of believers in this Body. As David said, “Who am I that God is mindful of me?”

I am also excited that God’s vision for us personally is so much bigger than what we would have chosen and even though God is saying, “No” to the further building of this ministry, He is saying, “Yes” to something greater. That’s a hard thing to accept it, but I am accepting it. In fact, I am choosing to embrace it. I am in awe of it because our God will never bring us to a place that does not bring Him more glory. Isn’t that our whole goal? To bring Him more glory?

So, what are you going to do when God says, “No” to your vision, or the timing of your vision? Will you willingly gather resources for the next generation, or will you hoard what resources you have been given because it’s not what you wanted?

I pray that we will always be willing to invest in those who come after us. I pray that we will always readily hear His voice and submit to His timing and His perfect ways. I pray that we will always seek Him before we run headlong into a vision that belongs to someone else and I pray that as we kneel together before Him we will always sit back on our heels in constant awe and wonder of who He is.

I love the vision that God has placed on our hearts for this church, but I love His vision more and I am excited to see and hear about the next phase…for all of us.

My Story             Seeking Hearts Ministries

It Might be a Sausage!

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a good laugh, assuming, assumptions, calling, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, devotional, devotions, encouragement, expectations, family devotions, fixing our eyes, focus, gifts, God, God's plan, jealousies, Jesus, laughs with a lesson, perspective, perspective on spiritual gifts, spiritual gifts, trust

      For those of you who know my family well, you will not be surprised by the fact that as I was searching through my freezer last week I came across a bag of, well, let’s say, “unique, unlabeled weirdness”. My youngest son and I could not imagine what these items were, so we finally settled on the notion that they must be sausages. After all, they were gray, oblong, individually wrapped with care, no label anywhere, so (we decided) it must be my husband’s doing. If my husband cared enough to save it, that means it had to be meat. So, we deduced that these weird items must be sausages. I somehow recalled that my sweet man had come home with some kind of leftovers after a men’s meeting one night, so my son and I determined…this must be it. These sausages looked gross to us, but I knew my husband would be extremely excited. After all, how many times do you open a freezer and have sausages that you had forgotten were even there?

A few hours passed and my husband came home for lunch. I, of course, asked him about these sausages. He examined them and became quite excited (as perdicted). He couldn’t remember any sausages, but wow! He was not going to let that stop him from the enjoyment. He proceeded to take one to his office to microwave for a snack later. Let me tell you there was a bounce in his step as he went on his way!

I received a text just a few, short minutes later (his office is quite close) that read, “NOT sausages (frowny face) frozen bananas.” Yes, you read correctly, the offending “sausages” that had not been labeled were actually my cherished, frozen bananas. At one time I had big plans for these bananas, but alas… I forgot about them and now they just looked like a bunch of sausage.

My husband was sorely disappointed, but I was left laughing my head off and then, well, I was convicted. It made me think about how many times I have mislabeled things in my life. I have often looked at a gift from God and labeled it as a “sausage” when in reality it was a beautiful banana. I have often taken the talents that God has instilled in me and refused to look at them as He desires. I view them as worthless and meant for someone else when in reality it is my heart’s desire with a different look than I expected. I have often looked at my gifts as an offense when God sees the beautiful plan He has designed for just that ability.

I was also convicted because I have often caught myself looking at other people’s “bananas” with longing, but labeling my own gift as a sausage. I see their talents as beautiful, yellow, perfectly ripe bananas, but look at my own as a grayish, unappealing, unrecognizable concoction. I need to be reminded that I Corinthians 12:4 – 6 says, “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons.” These verses tell me that no matter the gifts, we all have the same Lord. That’s what matters, our God. He is the One that sees us through, not our gifts.

Remembering this makes me unconcerned about someone else’s gift and not ashamed of my own because I know God is my God just as He is their God. My face is continually looking to Him and when His hand moves, or His voice speaks. I am enthralled because He is my all in all. I don’t see bananas, or sausages because my eyes are filled with Him. The psalmist says in Psalm 27:8, “When Thou didst say, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to Thee, ‘Thy face, O LORD, I shall seek.’” That needs to be us. That needs to be our focus…God alone; not whether or not our gifts look the same as someone else’s.

I was convicted in another way when I began to think about how often I have labeled experiences that God has given me as “sausages”. In reality, these experiences were in God’s plan to nourish me and to make me become a healthier person, spiritually speaking. Sometimes, I have taken God’s beautiful banana and frozen it with my bitterness so that it turned into something gray, gross and distorted. Instead of remembering that “His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts” as Isaiah 55:8 says, I deemed His ways as hurtful, unhealthy and not for my good. In reality though, He was molding me and shaping me into His beautiful likeness.

Hebrews 12:1 tells us to “…lay aside every encumbrance [think sausage] and the sin which so easily entangles us [think comparisons] and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…” This verse tells us clearly to lay everything down, get on with our Christian race and fix our eyes on Jesus. He’s at the finish line and He’s with us every step of the way.

When are eyes are fixed on Jesus, whether He chooses our gifts to be sausages, or bananas we are thankful because we know He can be trusted. If He chooses our talents to be meaty, or a little fruity, it’s okay because we are not fixated on the gift, we are fixated on Him.

Let’s encourage each other today to re-examine the labels that we have place on things in our lives. Let’s re-examine the labels we have place on ourselves, our talents and our experiences. What you have deemed a “sausage” might be a banana after all. It might be the very thing that God has bestowed on you to reach this generation. So, fix your eyes on Jesus, unthaw your gift and finish your race.

My Story       Seeking Hearts Ministries

Strength Through Weakness

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First Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”

A few weeks ago I came across an article that talked about how over the years Christians have misinterpreted First Corinthians 10:13. We have superimposed its teaching over every circumstance of our lives, not just in the area of temptation. For instance, how many times have you heard someone say, “God will not give you more than you can bear?” Is that really what this verse says? Does it say that in every area of your life God will make a way of escape? Does it say that I will be able to endure whatever God places in my path?

In actuality, First Corinthians 10 says that God will never give us more temptation than we can handle. This was a huge “Aha!” moment for me. After all, the Lord has been teaching me for some time that I can do nothing through self, but anything though Him. If I believe that God will never give me more than I can handle, what’s the point in being able to do all things through Christ as Philippians 4:13 says? If God never puts on my back a heavier load than I can carry, why does He bother to say in Matthew 11:28, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest”? So, when people would say, “God will not give you more than you can handle,” things just didn’t connect well for me. My spirit was torn between falling to my knees in full surrender, or “bucking up” and getting the job done. As I realized this verse only addresses temptation, the dots started connecting.

I am actually finding as I walk this journey of the Christian life (or as I crawl depending on the day) that God always gives me more than I can bear. It’s not to prove He can, or make my life miserable, it’s simply to help me realize that I truly can do nothing through self. He gives me more than I can bear to drive me to fellowship with Him. Not the kind of fellowship that’s short little prayers, but the kind of fellowship where I am desperate for His presence in my life. When I die to self and allow Him to live through me, that’s when all things are possible. When I am abiding in Christ, my Source is the vine and has nothing to do with me (the branch). It’s all Him.

Have you ever seen a branch that is able to hold much without its connection to the tree? I haven’t. When a branch is out by its lonesome, all I do is collect it for the burn pile. I would never think to depend on it to hold anything. If I needed to hang something, I would naturally go to a nearby tree where the branch is still attached. In the physical world, we realize that the branch has no strength on its own. We know that it must be attached.

We also need to be remember that sometimes, even when the branch has the appearance of attachment, it can still really not be connected at all. If it’s not linked, it will still have no power to hold anything no matter what it looks like. A strong, living, fully functioning branch is always totally dependent on its life source. It’s not just sitting there. It’s actually drawing its strength from its source. A branch has no strength on its own and neither do we.

Dependence is a full-time job. Can you imagine how strong the branch would be if it only connected to the tree once a week? How about three times a week? How about every day? Its connection to its source is the key to its strength. Its total dependence on its root is the key to its ability to hold any weight.

So it is with us. I’m sorry people, but even if you go to the best church in the whole world, depending on it will not bring automatic dependence on the Lord. Your church will help you stay accountable to that dependence. It will help you remember that God alone is your strength. It will encourage you to worship, but it cannot make you dependent on the Lord. Only you can do that. Only you are able to realize as Paul did in I Corinthians 15:31 that we must die daily. We are not called to stand strong. We are called to die. We are called to be completely and totally dependent on our God.

If you are going through more than you can bear, know that it’s a good thing. God is calling you to be totally and completely dependent on Him. He is reminding you that He wants all of you, all the time. He is calling you to enter into true intimacy with Him and stay there. He is calling you to death so that His resurrection can live through you.

So, let’s remember that in actuality, God always gives us more than we can bear and let’s praise Him for that today. If He didn’t drive us to our knees, we would never get there. I am going to leave you with a verse that sums all this up beautifully. Second Corinthians 12:10 says, “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

Seeking Hearts Ministries

As a bee searches for pollen, Lord help us to faithfully seek You alone.

Perspectives

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basics, body of Christ, calling, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, church, church body, control, direction for the Body of Christ, edification of others through spiritual gifts, encouragement, gifting, God's plan, God's plan in the Body, God's plan in the church, perspectives, perspectives on spiritual gifts, spiritual gifts

First Corinthians 12 speaks to us about spiritual gifts. We learn in this passage that every believer has a manifestation of the Holy Spirit who resides in them through a gifting that He provides. Sometimes, we might have the gift of teaching, sometimes wisdom, sometimes miracles or sometimes one of the other gifts mentioned throughout the Bible. Whatever God wants us to “specialize” in, the Spirit gives us the gift (or gifts) to do it. Remember though, our gifting is for the edification of others and not for our own fame, or our recognition in any way. First Corinthians 12:7 says, “But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” We must remember that our spiritual gift is for others from God Himself (I Cor. 12:11), so there is no reason to be prideful, just thankful that God placed His gifting in us.

Since our gifting is for others, First Corinthians 12 goes on to describe our gifts in the church working together as a human body. Verses 14-27 say, “So the body is not one part but many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I’m not a hand, I don’t belong to the body,’ in spite of this it still belongs to the body.  And if the ear should say, ‘Because I’m not an eye, I don’t belong to the body,’ in spite of this it still belongs to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole ⌊body⌋ were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?  But now God has placed each one of the parts in one body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body. So the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ Or again, the head can’t say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ But even more, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are necessary… Instead, God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the less honorable, so that there would be no division in the body, but that the members would have the same concern for each other. So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and individual members of it.”

As I was thinking about our gifts the last few days, I realized that due to our gifting, all Christians will see things differently. Not only are we supposed to be working together for God’s glory, but due to our different placements in the Body we will naturally see things differently. This can be a good thing, or a bad thing depending on whether our focus is on God, or ourselves. For example, if my placement in the Body is an eye, I will be able to see things that others cannot. If I am an ear, I will be able to hear God’s voice in a way that others cannot. If I am a foot, I will see the need to go in a way that the ear and the eye will not understand in their own strength; but, the ear and the eye will see and hear about dangers and good opportunities for the feet to go. All of us working together can get the whole Body moving in the right direction at the right time according to God’s will, if we listen to each other’s perspective.

I do realize that all of us working together, listening to each other’s perspectives and trusting that each is hearing from the Lord takes a great deal of faith. I realize that a lot of “what ifs” come in to play. What if the eye is only seeing themselves and not focused on the Lord? What if the ear can only hear what man is saying? What if the feet will not move in the direction God is calling? On and on it can go and does go. The only control we have over the situation is doing our part.

If I am an eye, I must make sure that my vision is clouded with only God’s face. I must, through the enabling of the Holy Spirit, remove the beam and the splinter from my own eye (Matthew 7), so I can see what God wants for the Body as a whole. I need to not give my perspective until I am sure it is what God wants me to see.

If I am an ear, I must be certain that I am hearing God’s voice clearly. I need to know His voice so intimately that I can not only hear His thundering voice, but the quietest whisper as well. Again, I need to not share my viewpoint until I know God is speaking.

If I am a foot, I need to make sure that my feet are shod with the Gospel of Peace (Eph. 6:15) and that I am ready whenever God says to go. I don’t need to run off on my own agenda, but realize that others are following. I need to remember that feet lead and I need to guide others only on God’s paths of righteousness as Psalm 23:3 says.

The other area I can control is my understanding of God’s people. I need to give grace to the eyes that cannot hear as clearly, if I’m an ear. I need to understand that an ear is not going to see things as clearly and quickly if I’m an eye. I also need to be patient with the eyes and ears if I’m a foot. I need to realize that they need to know where they are going before they make the first step. I can pray for understanding of God’s Body and their perspective. God made them and gifted them, so He can help us understand them and love them as He loves them.

Another area of control in this journey of working together as the Body of Christ is that we can be trustworthy. If our churches only see us when we want something, or have “heard from God”, they are naturally not going to be as receptive to us as they would be to someone who has been in the trenches with them praying, learning and growing. We need to be worthy of the Body’s trust. We can only gain and maintain this trust by being in a close relationship with our Father every day. The Enemy is sneaky and he will place things in our sight, our hearing, or our path that will look good, but only having a close relationship with our Lord can alert us to the deception. When others see our relationship with our God, they know we can be trusted to see, hear, or go as God desires.

We also need to be careful with people’s trust once we have it. If we feel like God is speaking to us to edify the Church, we must be sure. God does not mind giving confirmation if it comes from a place of trust and love for His people. When He gets angry is when we are asking for confirmation as an excuse to not obey. I think that’s the difference between Gideon and Moses in the Old Testament. Gideon did not want to go into a battle without the assurance that it was God’s will, but once he had it…WHAM! No going back! Let’s be like Gideon. When we hear God, let’s be sure and then…WHAM! Let’s never turn back!

The Body of Christ is not an easy thing to be involved with and I am so glad that God alone fits us all together. He has called us to work together as one, trust each another and depend solely on Him to make it work. Shew! Aren’t you glad it’s not up to us to figure it all out? Knowing our position, having grace for each other’s perspectives and being trustworthy is in our control. Let’s do our part by being in constant communion with Him and let Him deal with the rest from His perspective!

Seeking Hearts MInistries

Hang Tight

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battles, Christian encouragement, christian journey, christian walk, Christianity, encouragment, family, family blog, family devotional blog, forgiveness, God is able, God resurrects, God's plan, holding on to marriage, making marriage work, marriage, marriage advice, marriage is work, relationships, spouse

Right now, in this moment, at this very minute, my marriage is really good. I’m not predicting what it will be like in an hour, but right now I am totally in love with my husband and I love spending time with him. Why am I telling you this? Well, many times that has not been the case. Throughout the years of our marriage the last person I often wanted to deal with was my man. Even when I became resigned to stay no matter what, the last thing I could have imagined was being happy. So, today, I want to let you know that things are good and I want to encourage you to hang tight. If your marriage is not so great right now, I want to reassure you that it is worth it to stay.*

For whatever reason, I have been remembering lately a lot of what my husband and I have gone through over the years and been in awe that we are still together. We have been married for twenty-three years and seven months. I know it’s not as long as some, but I can at least share what I’ve learned thus far and what I know for sure is that every single month of togetherness is a miracle!  I’m not going to get into the gory details of our past hurts because they are Mark and I’s alone, but just know from the outset that they have been deep and we know for a fact that our God is the Great Physician. It takes a miracle for a marriage to stay put. Hurts in a marriage run deeper than most. When you are vulnerable enough to promise to spend the rest of your life with someone, the harsh reality is that you are open to being wounded. After so many wounds, anything will die, including a marriage. The truly awesome thing is that even death is not impossible to heal for our God. He specializes in resurrections. So, if your marriage has hurts, gaping wounds, or is completely dead, God can soothe, heal and resuscitate. He is able! Hang tight!

So, let’s get to the nitty gritty of some issues that often come up in a marriage. First off, saying your sorry is worth it, I promise. Are you always wrong? Of course not! But, relationships are always worth the apology. Which is more important, you being right all the time, or reaching a better place with your spouse? There is a time and place to stand your ground, but please listen to the Holy Spirit and ask for His guidance (not your grandmother, mom, or friend, God Himself). I know He tells you to cave in when you least want to, but I am promising you it is worth it! I understand wanting to be right all the time. You have no idea how much I understand this, but if we apologize often, when the Holy Spirit is telling us to stand our ground then our spouse will be more apt to listen. They will know that this is serious and not just our pride talking.

Secondly, the physical aspect of marriage is important. We all know this, but let me remind you that small touches throughout the day are super important as well as full on contact. If you are in a bad place in your marriage, sometimes simply having some physical contact can bring you back to realizing that this is the person you married. By touching their arm, holding their hand, giving a hug that lasts more than a brief second, or actually stopping the chaos and looking at them face to face can put you both in a better frame of mind. It helps us remember that we chose them and they chose us. We remember their touch. It’s familiar to our senses and it helps. Holding each other can be a good thing.

Third, (this is for the ladies), when is the last time you cooked for your guy? Before you freak out, or tell me I am crazy, let me remind you that “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.” I’ve always heard this, but now I know it to be true. I have actually had my guy to tear up when realizing that I was fixing a favorite dish of his. It is not cholesterol free and I thought he was going to think I was trying to kill him, but he was so excited. It’s not just my guy, though. I have been watching a reality show about marriage lately and one couple completely broke up over the wife never cooking a meal. No joke! In this same show, another couple is facing this same dilemma. I can’t tell you why this is so important to guys, but it is. That’s how God wired them, so let’s not ask questions and just go with it. (If you google crockpot recipes, it will blow your mind and not overwhelm your already busy day.)

I know this blog seems like that I think things will be easily mended in your marriage by hugging and cooking, but let me assure you that I know marriage is rough. Sometimes, in our house it’s like two pieces of sand paper living together (loud pieces of sandpaper!). Everything we do seems to rub each other the wrong way. But, through the power of the Holy Spirit and the power of the written Word you can hang tight in your marriage. Galatians 6:9 tells us to not be weary in well doing. If God gives us the command, we know He empowers us to keep that command.

When you think that you can’t go on, remember that Christ in you can. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

When you think nothing can fix your marriage, remember that “Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26).

When you feel nothing for your spouse anymore, ask God to give you a new heart. Ezekiel 36:26 says, “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.” Often times, we just don’t want to work at our marriages anymore, but God can change our wants. He can resurrect feelings that we thought were dead long ago.

You can’t save your marriage and you can’t make your marriage better, but God can. Hold on to Him. Hold on to each other and hang tight! It’s worth it!

*This blog is not encouraging anyone to stay in an abusive situation. If you are in an abusive situation, do not stay in that relationship. Please contact the local authorities to help you find a place where you can be safe.

http://www.seekinghearts.org

I Wouldn’t Change a Thing

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all thinks for good, change, God's plan, plan, redemption, trust

I Wouldn’t Change a Thing

 

-“I wouldn’t change a thing”. This is what my father-in-law said about his marriage to my mother-in-law after 50 years.

  “50 years and you would not change one thing?” I wondered silently, “You wouldn’t change the hardships that I remember you reminiscing about? You wouldn’t change difficulties like miscarriages, financial woes, a Christmas where all your gifts were stolen? You wouldn’t change anything?”

  I will admit I was skeptical, at first. I mean, after all, wouldn’t I change some things about my husband and my self’s marriage of 21 years? Wouldn’t I change the struggles that we have faced? Wouldn’t I want a healthier start for us, an easier path? Wouldn’t I change something?  Would I change the struggle that we had that brought our marriage to the brink of extinction back in our fifth year?  Would I change the many moves we have made due to my husband’s call into the ministry? Knowing what I know now, would I really change the ministry struggles that we have faced?

  As I pondered this, I began to realize… I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING either! But, it’s only because God is so good at what He does. Romans 8:28 says that He works all things out for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He is so good at this promise that my father-in-law and I can look back over incredible hardships and say with every fiber of our being, “I would not change a thing.” How could we? Wisdom has come from previous unwise choices. A trap we have fallen into keeps us from a greater trap years later. Stronger faith comes from seeing God work through incredible hardships in ministry. Trust in God’s provision and being thankful in all circumstances has resulted from financial crisis. Why would I change any lesson that great? When I see the goodness of God and realize how trustworthy He is, how could I possibly be filled with regrets? How could the chains of my past hold me in an endless cycle of ‘what if’? God is so good at what He does! He works all things for my good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. So, I absolutely would not change a thing!

    Our ultimate example, of course, is Jesus Christ. The Word of God says in Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” We see here that Jesus trusted His Father to turn all the horrible injustice of the cross into the ultimate good. Did He enjoy the cross? The Bible says clearly He did not; in fact, He despised it. Yet, He submitted to the process because He knew His father was able to and would turn the ultimate place of suffering into the beautiful place of Redemption that we have today. Jesus is now able to look at the cross which He despised and then look at us, redeemed and righteous through Him and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  Think over your own life experiences; maybe it is your marriage, but maybe it’s your job, your family, your health, any area where suffering has occurred. At the starting line we would ALWAYS choose an easier road, but would we now?  Through infertility, an amazing child has been adopted that otherwise would still be in an orphanage. Through bankruptcy, a release of hypocrisy has been born in us and compassion abounds. Through a friend’s betrayal, we now know The Great Physician heals emotional as well as physical pain. Would we really change those lessons?

  Only our God can do this for us. Only our God can take unspeakable heartache, unbelievable adversity, and unjustifiable sin and mold it into a life that we can in all honesty look at and say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  Trust Him with the hard things in your life. Trust that He can mold all the aches into a beautiful testimony. A testimony that at the end of time when it’s just you and Jesus holding hands looking out at the lives you both led on this earth, you can see Him look at His life of suffering and you can look at yours and you both can then look at God the Father and realize what He has done and say, “we wouldn’t change a thing.”