Mourning a Friend
I saw a friend slit her own throat today. Not physically, but spiritually speaking. You might think I’m being dramatic, but I’m not. That is truly what happened. I have a dear friend who had some choices to make. They were hard choices, I admit; choices that required a trust in God beyond the superficial. Choices that were life defining. She chose to leave God behind. There are very few times in my life that I have known the will of God for someone else, but I did for her. I knew it in the marrow of my bones. I prayed with her and for her. I gave her Scriptures. I let her talk everything out and she simply walked away from God. The many blessings that she has been given she chose to think she accomplished for herself. The encounters with God that she has had, she viewed as her due. At times, I wanted to scream at her, “When did God fail you?” But, I did not. I knew at that point it was no use. I was left watching her back as she walked away knowing that her choice was the poorest one that she could have possibly made.
My heart is so heavy for her. I feel as if I am in mourning. No, I am in mourning. She chose her own spiritual death today. What do you do with something like that? When my husband drew me into a hug later that day, I told him my very soul was hurting. There was no other description.
I went to sleep in exhaustion only to wake up still grieving. I still hurt for my sister and she is blissfully unaware. She truly believes that her choice was okay. I tremble for the direction that her life has taken, but she seems to have no fear. On days like this, I feel alone. I know it’s not true, but the feeling is there. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah had these same feelings. Verse 10 says, “…I have been zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Thy covenant, torn down Thine altars and killed Thy prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”
God answered Elijah starting in verse 11, “So He said, ‘Go forth, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after that the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. And it came about when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold a voice came to him…”
That’s what I’m waiting for. I am waiting to hear my Father’s voice. I feel the gentle blowing beginning and I am straining to hear His voice. I need to be reminded by God Himself that He is my hope and that He is my help. I need to be reminded that when my face is turned towards Him, I am revived. When my face is looking at His face, I can remember that My God specializes in restorations and that becomes my focus. I need to be reminded today that God is a God of resurrections. In fact, it’s His specialty.
Luke 7 relates to us the story of Jesus encountering a widow mourning the death of her only son. Verse 13 tells us that He felt compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” He then touched the coffin and the funeral procession stopped. Jesus spoke to the dead son and said, “Young man, I say to you, arise!” Verse 15 says, “And the dead man sat up, and began to speak…”
God can still bring the dead to life today. Hebrews 13:5 assures us that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the same Miracle-Worker today as He was in the book of Luke. He is the same Resurrection and the Life as He was in John 11:25. Our God is the Great Resurrection!
That’s what I’m praying for. I’m praying for resurrection in my own life, but I’m also praying for resurrection in my friend’s life. Hope is never gone until the grave. Hope is never gone until the grave. Hope is never gone until the grave. So, I’m choosing to stop mourning through the power of Christ in me. I’m choosing to hope. I’m choosing to believe Psalm 71:5. “For Thou art my hope; O LORD GOD, Thou art my confidence from my youth.”
I’m choosing to believe Psalm 38:15. “For I hope in Thee, O LORD; Thou wilt answer, O LORD my God.”
I’m choosing to believe Psalm 30:11. “Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; Thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.”
I’m choosing to remember Lamentations 3:22-26. “The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness. ‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore have hope in Him.’ The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the LORD.”
I’m choosing to go to God and His Word and receive the resurrection that He has promised. I’m choosing to believe Romans 15:13 where God is called the God of hope. “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of The Holy Spirit.”
I’m choosing the “now” of Romans 15:13 and I’m choosing the power of The Spirit. I’m choosing the God of hope. I’m choosing to believe in His resurrection. I’m choosing to believe that God can raise the dead, dry bones once again as He did in Ezekiel’s day and I’m choosing to believe what Psalm 30:3 says. “…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”